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Sunday, January 4, 2015

La Tahzan

Among all the hard things to do in life is to stay positive.

But hey. To remember that Allah tests you because He cares really calm me down.

Betul la. Make yourself closer to Him. And you'll be fine. There's an ayat on that. I can't recall.

Not for the first time I wish I were born boy. In this full of discrimination life, where voice of women are usually ignored. Where a matured (25y.o and above) are considered threat by other married women. They are afraid you might 'steal' their husband. Or whatever difficulty you have to go through is way for you to get attention. Honestly, i've been avoiding a lot of married (guy friend) and hold the boyfriend status friend. And because you have no one to protect you. You are vulnerable.
Been experiencing that a lot lately.

Like how I see some unmarried women struggling with their life. To stay independent. And what public see are a pathetic single lady who refuse to get married because she thinks she's too good for anyone. I'm in that group now.

I live with my Mak now. Most of the time. Working in the field where most of the team members are men is hard. I overheard they gossip between each other that they were not surprise that i'm not married yet since i'm quite harsh at site. So, do they expect me to become more ladylike in site? Seriously?

Been out with some guy friends where the topic was about girls and the way they explain it showed that, "eh, bapak dia tak bagi keluar malam. Satgi masak i kena" or "abang dia sado. Ko jangan main-main". Well, most of them treat me like i'm just another guy. I can't make them see me as a lady. But they are all okay anyway. Their topic make me think if all men actually see things that way. Like "jangan kacau dia, nanti *you name who* marah ko, baru ko tahu". I have none to stand up for me to be honest. I only have my Mak and myself.

I've been experiencing a lot of situation where people do whatever they want to do or say whatever they want to say when they realized that there's only me and my mom in the scene. They saw helpless women. Do anything towards them. No one will actually gonna do a thing to you. Yes. That bad. I totally understand how hard the single mom out there live life. It's hard. And they made it. People really take you for granted. They don't pity you. They just think that you are pathetic. I'm not a single mom. I'm just another typical unmarried lady living with her mom.

Sorry for all the negativity. But I do hope whoever read this entry learn something out of it. Some thing might be easy for you. Some thing that easy for you might be impossible to others. There's a lot of other people struggling to live. Treat people equally. Some of us unmarried women do not choose this kind of life. We have no choice but to live the life. So please. Put away all those stigma about single mom, unmarried women and people who you think do not work hard enough towards success.
We live different  life. Remember that!

E N D

.Posted from android.

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