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Wednesday, December 30, 2015


As a reminder that love exists.

Tuesday, December 15, 2015


Broken specs. Almost accident but luckily just had my tyre went kembung. And a sudden problematic PC. 3 bad days in a row.

While the colleagues keep on ranting about how hard to live just another day, and concern about me being too laid back about the wedding.

The admin sent me this.


To keep on counting blessing.

67 more days to go.

Sunday, November 29, 2015

Happiness is...

Receiving Happy Bunch.


Friday, November 27, 2015

You don't have to

Exposing your life online could lead you to more trouble.

Unless you are a blogger. And you make money out of it.

I have few option.

Sit and watch.

React and respond.

Non-stop cursing and exhale that screw you thingy.

Confuse. Confused. Confusing.

Sunday, November 15, 2015


Untuk hari ni.

Setelah sekian lama.

Baru sedar sebenarnya masih sayu pabila melawat pusara Bapak.

Mungkin kerana tak pernah berpeluang berseorangan ketika lawatan. Maka tak sedar rupanya masih sedih.

I still miss you. Badly.

Sunday, October 25, 2015

Ini pasti tindakan yang betul

Hari hari akhir rumah induk semakin hampir.

Sedih sebenarnya.

Monday, September 14, 2015

life ain't that easy peeps

When people asked me, 'how i stay positive after it happened?'

my answer : He took one, but He made me realize that i have all the love in the world. Like, seriously, kasih sayang dari seluruh pelusuk dunia.

As usual, when i started writing, i have something to update, whether it's really happy, bothering me or i just have a task need to be completed but too lazy or stuck while doing it.

and to be honest. it's a mixed up of everything. I am supposed to complete my Historical Impact Assessment which i never done before, and that explain why i'm here. i'm stuck!

well a lil update about life.

i just got engaged. How did it happen? I  have no idea. it happened so fast, and i hope it goes smoothly. Thank you for all the prayer, sweet wishes, and the love.

over sangat tunang cenggini dah... hahahhaha...

with le BFF (kak nadd) yang always ada and le photographer (kit)
both are ex-studiomate from uitm. 

here my other positive energy, my other tower, sekar...and my MUA for the E-day. Thank you!

And to everyone yang takde dalam gamba. Aboo, A'ai, Reny, Teha, Bid, Esah, Mieza, Farra, Izzati, Zeqt, As, the GenX, the UTAS gang and ramai lagi yang tak ter mention di sini...homaiii..thank you for the love... 

last but not unconditional love at the moment still goes to this little guy.

- E N D -

Friday, August 14, 2015


What if my happiness is seeing people i care happy?

Thursday, August 13, 2015


Tatau apa yang sampuk.


Apa lagi?

Dia layak terima yang lebih baik.

Monday, August 10, 2015


I hope this is just a nightmare.

And i wake up tomorrow be whoever i wanna be. And skip all the process.


Friday, July 31, 2015

Of friend, pure love and just acquaintance

I wrote few times before, how picky i am when selecting friends. Who would i allowed to take space in my heart. Who would i put my guard down when i'm with them.

Friend means pure love. Not just word. You might not be as close, but you know you always have each other's back.

Too many things to digest. Unpredictable love.
I hope we'll make it through. I believe in you. I just have problem in believing myself.

Monday, June 22, 2015

Dear everyone. Including you, Kunang!

I am well known with my mulut longkang. I am super transparent. When i don't like something. It shows. When i like still look like i don't like it.. hehe..

I'm the kind who hide her friends' timeline in order to keep the relationship in it's healthy condition. I rant a lot. Here. And twitter. I went all meroyan sometimes. But but but... i try my best not to insult. I did insult i know.

With the world turning into global village, manusia semakin taksub menjaja diri di media sosial. Bukak puasa apa. Upload. Pegi terawikh. Upload. Baca quran page berapa. Upload. Gaduh ngn laki, bini, kawan, mertua, ipar duai. Upload. Bagi sedekah. Upload. Jadi di manakah keikhlasan?

I requote dr.muhaya. "apa tujuan gambar-gambar itu semua dikongsi?" I somehow am one of those. Post gamba tiada faedah. Sape yang nak di please?

I hope i haven't done that berdoa di media sosial part. (Rasa mcm tak pernah. Finger cross tu ..err..banyak kali..)Banyak kita tengok sekarang, stok berdoa untuk diri sendiri or keluarga di media sosial. Again. Doa kepada siapakah?  Aku dah agak meluat tengok orang berdoa kat Fb. Belum kira kisah "hubby saya belikan saya this and that" sebanyak 150 juta kali seminggu. Or, message husband "tolong belikan santan before balik. Love you." di wall Fb. Ke mana fungsi direct message? Whatsapp? Motif nak semua orang tahu ko suruh suami ko beli santan before balik?

Ok. Satgi banyak pulak yang cakap "anak dara tua ni mula dahhh"

So sebelum aku merapu dengan lebih jauh lagi. Ahkak tinggalkan adik-adik sekali dengan sekeping gamba lilies in preggo jar. I just found out i love lilies. Gittew minah bunga sekarang. Motip nak bagitahu semua orang ko suka lilies? Hahahahaha...

Maka. Beringat-ingat lah sebelum mengepos. Tak usah nak bangga sangat hari ni baca quran smpai page berapa.

Siapa yang cuba ko impress?

Tuesday, June 16, 2015

if you can't agree to disagree. then don't start provoking.

i don't know where to start. and how to make this understandable.

2 things i learn today.
1 - if you can't agree to disagree. don't start arguing.
2 - the more you want to know about others' business. The pitier you become. I am proud of myself today for being able to say "please, i don't want to know" during mengumpat session.

So today. i had friend texting me over in whatsapp group just to tell me s/he is annoyed with the TMJ vs Nazri issue. Yes. I understand. For some people, they just feel like the need to respect the  royal family sounds just ridiculous. Been there. Trust me when i say i hate protocols. But to easily say stuff like 'kenapa nak exaggerate sangat nak kena hormat Raja dan sebagainya?' . really. you shouldn't talk about this matter with me if the only thing you want to listen is. yes you are right. Nazri should smack TMJ in the face.

If you want to hear to, no, the royal family doesn't deserve such respect. No. Im not the right person to talk to. They might not be my close family. But being one from many born with the name Raja taught me a lot about people. I become me today because of how 'rakyat jelata' used to treat me before.

S/he raised and issue about how s/he doesn't agree why some people need to exaggeratedly 'back-up' TMJ. And my respond was, 'I don't agree with you'. He spoke up on behalf of his people. And of course they do not agree on how Nazri responded to TMJ.

So, s/he got mad, Started to say something like, 'i thought u said u don't care about the royal thingy?'

Yes. i don't care. But it doesn't mean you can simply say anything you want. Stereotyping the whole royal family is what people do all these while. You have no idea how hard it is to bring this name. How cynic people  became when they knew your real name. How bitter people react when you did something not right and they start to stereotyping you because you have Raja in your name. i learn to agree to disagree from a very young age. what i respond to you dear friend is a reminder. never start a fight if you can't agree to disagree.

let compare apple to apple. When we were abroad. People say bad things about our religion. How disgust you feel? Same goes to me. What you know now, is just what your brain let you digest. You want to hate people. Go ahead. I can't agree with you. Know your limit when talking. Some people just sensitive enough. You can't blame them. Some of them were raised in the istana themselves. The uprising process were where the way of talking, the way of addressing are all in protocol. Kita yang tak berprotocol ni. Tak payah la nak mengutuk sangat. Tak jadi lagi bagus pun.

one more thing. if you start to use your social media to hate others. Pity you.

- E N D -

Monday, June 15, 2015

Another year added. Wiser. Younger heart.

Never been busier. But feel blessed. Each year, i count how many birthday wish do i get. Whoever that are really close to me know how picky i am when it comes to open up to certain people. I choose my friend. I guard my heart. And most of the time, i am in control. Teha told me yesterday on how cool i look in the real world but the real me is actually here. In this blog. Here is definitely the other side of me. Kelam kabut. Jiwa kacau. Huru hara. Yup yup.

Very fruitful day for a birthday. 2 meetings in a row. 2 submissions. 1 presentation that had been cancelled. Good and bad news. Handling team with most of the members are men, principal from various firm and being among the youngest in the room just made me wanna puke. One consultant asked about my age today. With a smile i answered, "approaching 30," .

Weird enough. But i do hope i look older.

Here what i got for my birthday. My favourite thing from favourite people. (Gamba combi biru blakang je bukan gift. Tu lukis sendiri bertahun dahulu) so what else do you need? There's always a reason to be happy. Gamba anak sedara tido pon made my day. So. Always find a reason to stay positive. Because u worth it. (Said a person who used to be in critical depression. -_-)

Tengah cuba make time for some people. Saba ye adik adik. Ahkak busy sangat ni.

Sunday, June 7, 2015

Of work, life and love

It's been busy lately. Sometimes Mak will complain about how busy i've been.  I've gained  weight for not having proper meal and sleep most of the time.

Happier life. Busier work life. Random events. Random surprise. In conclusion. I am okay with everything in my life at the moment.

I still hate Monday. Still prefer no jerung. Still love to rant kind of Kunang. Still socially awkward. Still have that problem to say no to extra workload.

And today. I finally had that chance to cook again. Woohooo..that feelings... i love to cook more than i love to eat...definitely need to start that cooking therapy thingy again. Andddd..the most important thing have someone or bunch or people to eat it.

I miss you!!!

*my friend just can't believe it when i said this. Steel woman don't have this kind of feelings she said.

Not steel enough. I have my own soft spot. Jeng jeng jeng..

Sunday, May 24, 2015

Another 25th May

It's tomorrow.

And i am thankful that we have little Adam in our family now.

I am still sad. Been missing him every single day without fail.

And again, for whatever things that had happened. I know He has a better plan for me. I learned a lot.

I miss you Bapak. Happy 63rd birthday.


Sunday, May 10, 2015

of baby, work, and jodoh. eh. wait!

I miss this little guy. Badly miss him anyway. Lucky that I actually had been really busy with work. So, tak teringat sangat.

Jodoh? acah mak enon je.


- E N D -

Saturday, April 25, 2015


It's Saturday again. Nothing interesting to update. Just another rant. I've been extra busy lately to the point where I think 24 hours per day just ain't  enough.

I haven't have time to run. Walaupun hanya di treadmill dibtunah. I don't do dinner for quite sometimes now because it feels like wasting time. I haven't have fun and i need my life back! I started to feel like i'm aging and i confuse the sakit perut i had with masuk angin ke? Lapar ke? Or gastric ni?

I've been given an opportunity to handle few projects. 1 small project with quite luxury budget- a depot for sampah to be exact where no one in the office really has experience doing it and they let me attend the clarification meeting during their trip to euro. Cool! (Sarcastic mode here, this kind of meeting need the boss to say yes or no and i was the one who say yes or no, cool!) 1 conserve and restore project. Again. No one in the office has experience doing it. And it's a rare opportunity. It is an interesting project, i'm all excited to be the one to lead the team, to deal with the conservator, to learn the history of the building and all. The only thing that make me reluctant to go to the site is the 'cerita hantu'. They allocated quite a big budget for this project. My bosses called it- project mahal. And another 2 are housing project. The budget for these 2 are beyond huge. If i combine both project and sum it up, i lost count. And each time I attend the meeting for these 2, I always feel like i'm one of those characters in those dramas. 'Tak boleh dato', they won't  allow us to do that.' Or 'kita shot 14 juta dato'.'


And yesterday one of the bosses held a 'learning session' for the whole office. I have to say that it was more like 'peringatan towards the designers session'.

Rasa nak pitam tengok masalah masalah di site. Seriously. I sometimes feel like badly want to back off. Masa meeting bersama pengguna, they even called the bosses monkey. And they aren't even 40 yet. It's like, mentang-mentang ko dah beli rumah mahal, suka hati nak cakap macam-macam. Seriously? But yes. That's the nature of being an architect. Bila ada masalah. No matter what, team leader la yang kena. And during the learning session, they did mention few projects yang kononnya few steps ahead di stage where, memang kalau dapat makan tak habis la. Andddd...all my projects are in there. There's 5 projects mentioned, and 4 of em are mine. Tahniah la.

My team are scared. I myself? Damn scared. I call this, RIDICULOUS EXPECTATION.

Sunday, April 19, 2015

lonnnnngg time

i haven't update the blog for quite sometime. i have to admit i'm hell busy at the moment. i had a very packed schedule everyday now. but ya. happy and happier.

let's summarize what i've missed updating.

ATV ride with usual suspects : 29th March 2015

went for a way challenging ATV ride with office mate a week before this one. But hey. Being around favourite people mean happy time. Yes. We had fun. Despite that short ride, we had fun mandi manda at the air terjun (Zul je yang mandi! yang lain tukang tengok only) and makan-makan session after that. Right after we finished the ride, it had been raining cats and dogs.

 Penang Trip - 4th April 2015
Maisarah is now married. Super happy for her. We knew each other sangat baru lagi. She has this really beautiful heart. She's one of those many people on earth yang i naturally feel comfortable to be around. Kejap je dapat jadi partner in crime. Dah kawen, kna keluar persatuan..he he he.

Then after the wedding, it's makan-makan time with kak nad. It's kinda going to wedding+mari holiday+makan-makan like raksaksa kinda trip. We rent two bicycle and end up sakit jantung, It ain't easy riding in the middle of busy road in Penang. Tiring, but we had so much fun.

That epic coconut ice cream!

Our ride! Ni tengah sesat, LOL.

just some view i like looking at.

where we rent out bicycle.

my favourite!

sinful nasi kandar! hahahha

I promised teha to paint something for he. specifically cute cows. It's been really long since i last  paint. So, hasilnya, its a bit like 'orang buta melukis' *sigh*

i blame the canvas. hahahhaha.. the worst part was when my mom made that surprise face and asked, 'kenapa lukis anjing?' *pitam*

ok. i'll repaint the lembu okay?

Today -19th April 5K Color Me Run Tasik Titiwangsa
it was fun anddddd fun. Running with your favourite person (kak nad) just double the joy. Had a fun after run lepak session with not so usual suspect.

And for tomorrow, my Monday blues already started. I'm in the middle of finishing my work and sorting out stuff for tomorrow. and wish me luck for tomorrow's site visit. Im going to lead a team for measuring a really old building. Interesting project  but too many creepy stories to start with, that makes me start worry. 

Till then. May this positivity last long.

- E N D -

Sunday, March 15, 2015

Not worth the fight

I hope i can get rid of this feeling. I hope tomorrow i can laugh it off.

Today, i just had a worthless conversation with someone who is really rude.

Cut it short. I hope this kind of people. Vanish from planet earth. Seriously.

I hope he is not a politician or something or else,(like whoever yand dah berjaya dan disegani) or the whole party lose my vote/the whole organisation hilang my respect to have such arrogant boss like you.

Bawak nama nabi. Perangai macam babi.

Shame on you sir.

Excuse my language.

Monday, March 2, 2015

keep on counting yours

well hey.
just a lil update. a lil reminder. and a lil hope for always a better tomorrow.

Teha said finally i had that calming entry. rather than just that usual ranting and complaining.

work is at it's usual status. which is. yeah. remain stressful and hectic. i complained on how bad my cough are these days to the girlfriends. and most of the friends said, it must be because of my immune system since i always get 'too tired' everyday and work extra hours almost everyday. maybe they are right. my cough now is almost gone. and i hope for a better health.

i just started the treadmill routine again, this evening.  (like i ever had that routine. LOL) i used to walk a lot back in Tassie, or jungle trekking or do any other physical activities+recreation. The most often walk that i had now in Malaysia is most probably from my workstation(in the office) to the plotter, toilet and bosses' room. (thats like few steps away. The bosses locate me next to their room so i can attend them at anytime. i wonder why  i always get this kind of treatment)

I need to live healthily. That's the point here.

i remember being in depression. i have few of my friends who sounds depressed at the moment and the only thing i can offer is my shoulder for them to lean on.

and to remind them to keep on counting blessing. I have no other good advice to say. I said that a lot to myself. I try hard to seek for any small little thing that can make me happy. (yes, that include stuck in heavy traffic with comfort food or bumped into lelaki kacak or perempuan cantik or baby comel. LOL)

so remember, keep on counting blessing. The most positive me was when my father passed away. It's amazing how Allah make me, me. I've been in my lowest low few times indeed after my father died. But to keep on reminding myself that i have all the love from friends that i can count on from all around the world brings me hope. So. I counted mine(blessing). Keep on counting yours.

So here are some my week updates.

thursday night. i got from work quite late, and i heard fireworks. it's pretty beautiful but yeah..excuse my humble phone. (*_*)

the next pic is the beginning of all the pening kepala. 

what color is this dress?
i've ssen it as white and gold at first i swear. and it ended up my eyes or my brain like playing trick to their master. i see it as black and blue now. where the hell that gold and white dress gone?

then it's catching up time with bestie. (monday to friday, my activities were basically just work, work and more work)

here the dinner date, brunch sesh and theatre pics.

Friday night. Dinner at wangsa grill. I give this restaurant 3 out of 5.(please make reservation if you want to dine here) i'm waiting for the waiter to at least ask how i would like my daging be whether well done or half done macam tu. but no question asked. and the daging is a bit chewy. but taste wise. they tasted good. The strawberry sauce that came with nanchos tastes refreshing. i feel like sipping the whole shot..tapi ye. malu nak buat perangai.

we shared this.

kak nadd's


Saturday Morning

Since my car dah di tahap tak boleh dimaafkan lagi kekotorannya, lets have her washed. Sambil tunggu sambil usya orang sambil mengumpat mamat BMW tu sebab poyo sangat dok ronda-ronda kereta dia time orang tu tengah basuh kereta dia. 

Then to the Green Tomato Cafe for brunch
Honestly, i don't come here for the food, i go there for the ambience.I really like it there.  It's so holiday-like being there. It's so calm and it is located in the middle of the city. Here some pics of the place, 

After brunch, we went to Joe Meng Trading in Melawati. Teha introduced me the shop. We set the waze and macam biasa la, tak sesat tak sah. Then we gave up and park the car, jalan kaki, terus jumpa kedai. 

Really it is Syurga Junk Food.

It's like walking down the memory lane. There's a lot of junk food i used to eat when i was kid are still there. they're still selling em!
Here some of them. i bought coco pie, plum sweets, choki-choki, shared the double decker with kak nadd, and the oat bar. Total RM37. banyak gila makanan tak sihat! 

After Joe Meng, we headed to damansara empire. Damansara Performing Art Center to be exact-for theater. 

Kalau dah architect, dok la tengok details kan.

cool right?

 here are some installation to reflect the movie.

Sekuntum Mawar Merah.

i can't explain much-takut spoil. Masih ditayangkan until march (im not sure of the date)

 It was a bit slow for me at first. but hey. impressive musical theater i must say. nadia aqilah (Mawar) really nailed it. Remy(Rashid), there is still room for improvement for the singing part. I really like character Adam in this theater. Super rational. overall, the music arrangement, kekuatan vocal, story line with impressive element of surprise, worth the time spent.

Last but not least, I will continue my shopping mall explore plan next coming week.

Here the sushi pack i had while stuck in the heavy traffic. Comfort food during heavy traffic?

it's a bless.

To another busy week. I hope you are not that bad.

Monday Blues starts NOW.
(it actually started on saturday night already!)

- E N D -

Sunday, February 22, 2015

following the flow

other than moving to new workplace and new house..nothing really interesting had happened. i'm still the old me.(maybe a bit fatter) i just hope i'll love the new house better and love the new office more than i love the previous one.

i'd love to share some part of my new place with you!

tonight's view. this is the view from my room. not as serene as my previous house. but hey! you can't compare apple to orange anyway~i can see clearly ampang puteri hospital from my room. everything is basically within reach.

i've been receiving a lot of 'concern' question about how would it be possible to get use to live in a tiny small apartment. Yeah. If you have visited my previous place, you would have asked the same question. The new place most probably is just as big as the living room of the previous house.

well anyway. i don't have problem getting use to new place. and my mom? she's doing well so far. she loves all the hustle and bustle. the non-stop sound of cars which i can't really stand. i've started my old habit in tassie which keep on listening to the creek sound and birds chirping sound so i could feel more relax... i hate unpleasant sound. i love the quiteness of my previous home. but the location and the size of the house make me think twice about staying there forever.

i repainted the side table and brought it to the new place. the age of this side table is wayyy older than my brother and i. My late father told me, he made this with his student when he was teaching in IKM. that was before he is married to my mother. 

i found this! the laser tag result! hahahahaha...good old days. (thrown away)

i posted this on IG and most of the friends said it's too hipster and i just badly influenced by pinterest. LOL. well anyway. i did pin hell A LOT of deco ideas. and none of them could be applied since the space, the weather and a lot of other factors are definitely different. bought the duvet cover on mysale (a really good deal). 'Too Feminine' some of the friend would refer this. but hey, you don't want me to start those superhero mode. LOL.

Another view. This pic was taken before i finished arranging all my stuff. now those circular hanger are already full with the tudungs. i placed all the tudungs and telekung at the back of the door. small room means that you need to put effort in arranging stuff or else there will never enough space for stuff.

some of the canvas in my room. it is a textured painting. i used to be so curious and so eager to explore materials. this is one of them.(the outcome product) the other series of textured painting i made had that metal look. only this one remain colourful and still look like a canvas painting rather than metal plate..

other paintings on canvas that are not too brilliant but have too many sentimental value to be thrown away. i only use blue tack to paste them.

This is the result of pinning too many stuff on pinterest and a lot of visit to ikea. (pssstt..go search for fairy light. bought them from IG seller and hell cheap.) yes. i still haven't hang some of the canvas yet.

thing you make when you have nothing at home. bread pudding! (now progressively filling up the fridge and food stock)

another good example of result of too many pinterest viewing. LOL. type balcony idea or maybe small balcony idea...they have a lot of interesting idea (excuse the pokok pandan hampir mati itu) bought the tile at ikea, the grass from daiso. 

and i even arranged it at the entrance door. yes. pinterest!! LOL.

and here. flat lay of the newborn clothes. Future auntie in the house inshaAllah.

we are still progressively moving. but since i already started working at the new place. i spend most of the time at the new place. 

- E N D -