As a reminder that love exists.
Tuesday, December 15, 2015
Broken specs. Almost accident but luckily just had my tyre went kembung. And a sudden problematic PC. 3 bad days in a row.
While the colleagues keep on ranting about how hard to live just another day, and concern about me being too laid back about the wedding.
The admin sent me this.
To keep on counting blessing.
67 more days to go.
Sunday, November 29, 2015
Friday, November 27, 2015
Exposing your life online could lead you to more trouble.
Unless you are a blogger. And you make money out of it.
I have few option.
Sit and watch.
React and respond.
Non-stop cursing and exhale that screw you thingy.
Confuse. Confused. Confusing.
Sunday, November 15, 2015
Sunday, October 25, 2015
Monday, September 14, 2015
my answer : He took one, but He made me realize that i have all the love in the world. Like, seriously, kasih sayang dari seluruh pelusuk dunia.
As usual, when i started writing, i have something to update, whether it's really happy, bothering me or i just have a task need to be completed but too lazy or stuck while doing it.
and to be honest. it's a mixed up of everything. I am supposed to complete my Historical Impact Assessment which i never done before, and that explain why i'm here. i'm stuck!
well a lil update about life.
i just got engaged. How did it happen? I have no idea. it happened so fast, and i hope it goes smoothly. Thank you for all the prayer, sweet wishes, and the love.
- E N D -
Friday, August 14, 2015
Thursday, August 13, 2015
Monday, August 10, 2015
Friday, July 31, 2015
I wrote few times before, how picky i am when selecting friends. Who would i allowed to take space in my heart. Who would i put my guard down when i'm with them.
Friend means pure love. Not just word. You might not be as close, but you know you always have each other's back.
Too many things to digest. Unpredictable love.
I hope we'll make it through. I believe in you. I just have problem in believing myself.
Monday, June 22, 2015
I am well known with my mulut longkang. I am super transparent. When i don't like something. It shows. When i like something....er..i still look like i don't like it.. hehe..
I'm the kind who hide her friends' timeline in order to keep the relationship in it's healthy condition. I rant a lot. Here. And twitter. I went all meroyan sometimes. But but but... i try my best not to insult. I did insult i know.
With the world turning into global village, manusia semakin taksub menjaja diri di media sosial. Bukak puasa apa. Upload. Pegi terawikh. Upload. Baca quran page berapa. Upload. Gaduh ngn laki, bini, kawan, mertua, ipar duai. Upload. Bagi sedekah. Upload. Jadi di manakah keikhlasan?
I requote dr.muhaya. "apa tujuan gambar-gambar itu semua dikongsi?" I somehow am one of those. Post gamba tiada faedah. Sape yang nak di please?
I hope i haven't done that berdoa di media sosial part. (Rasa mcm tak pernah. Finger cross tu ..err..banyak kali..)Banyak kita tengok sekarang, stok berdoa untuk diri sendiri or keluarga di media sosial. Again. Doa kepada siapakah? Aku dah agak meluat tengok orang berdoa kat Fb. Belum kira kisah "hubby saya belikan saya this and that" sebanyak 150 juta kali seminggu. Or, message husband "tolong belikan santan before balik. Love you." di wall Fb. Ke mana fungsi direct message? Whatsapp? Motif nak semua orang tahu ko suruh suami ko beli santan before balik?
Ok. Satgi banyak pulak yang cakap "anak dara tua ni mula dahhh"
So sebelum aku merapu dengan lebih jauh lagi. Ahkak tinggalkan adik-adik sekali dengan sekeping gamba lilies in preggo jar. I just found out i love lilies. Gittew minah bunga sekarang. Motip nak bagitahu semua orang ko suka lilies? Hahahahaha...
Maka. Beringat-ingat lah sebelum mengepos. Tak usah nak bangga sangat hari ni baca quran smpai page berapa.
Siapa yang cuba ko impress?
Tuesday, June 16, 2015
2 things i learn today.
1 - if you can't agree to disagree. don't start arguing.
2 - the more you want to know about others' business. The pitier you become. I am proud of myself today for being able to say "please, i don't want to know" during mengumpat session.
So today. i had friend texting me over in whatsapp group just to tell me s/he is annoyed with the TMJ vs Nazri issue. Yes. I understand. For some people, they just feel like the need to respect the royal family sounds just ridiculous. Been there. Trust me when i say i hate protocols. But to easily say stuff like 'kenapa nak exaggerate sangat nak kena hormat Raja dan sebagainya?' . really. you shouldn't talk about this matter with me if the only thing you want to listen is. yes you are right. Nazri should smack TMJ in the face.
If you want to hear to, no, the royal family doesn't deserve such respect. No. Im not the right person to talk to. They might not be my close family. But being one from many born with the name Raja taught me a lot about people. I become me today because of how 'rakyat jelata' used to treat me before.
S/he raised and issue about how s/he doesn't agree why some people need to exaggeratedly 'back-up' TMJ. And my respond was, 'I don't agree with you'. He spoke up on behalf of his people. And of course they do not agree on how Nazri responded to TMJ.
So, s/he got mad, Started to say something like, 'i thought u said u don't care about the royal thingy?'
Yes. i don't care. But it doesn't mean you can simply say anything you want. Stereotyping the whole royal family is what people do all these while. You have no idea how hard it is to bring this name. How cynic people became when they knew your real name. How bitter people react when you did something not right and they start to stereotyping you because you have Raja in your name. i learn to agree to disagree from a very young age. what i respond to you dear friend is a reminder. never start a fight if you can't agree to disagree.
let compare apple to apple. When we were abroad. People say bad things about our religion. How disgust you feel? Same goes to me. What you know now, is just what your brain let you digest. You want to hate people. Go ahead. I can't agree with you. Know your limit when talking. Some people just sensitive enough. You can't blame them. Some of them were raised in the istana themselves. The uprising process were where the way of talking, the way of addressing are all in protocol. Kita yang tak berprotocol ni. Tak payah la nak mengutuk sangat. Tak jadi lagi bagus pun.
one more thing. if you start to use your social media to hate others. Pity you.
- E N D -
Monday, June 15, 2015
Never been busier. But feel blessed. Each year, i count how many birthday wish do i get. Whoever that are really close to me know how picky i am when it comes to open up to certain people. I choose my friend. I guard my heart. And most of the time, i am in control. Teha told me yesterday on how cool i look in the real world but the real me is actually here. In this blog. Here is definitely the other side of me. Kelam kabut. Jiwa kacau. Huru hara. Yup yup.
Very fruitful day for a birthday. 2 meetings in a row. 2 submissions. 1 presentation that had been cancelled. Good and bad news. Handling team with most of the members are men, principal from various firm and being among the youngest in the room just made me wanna puke. One consultant asked about my age today. With a smile i answered, "approaching 30," .
Weird enough. But i do hope i look older.
Here what i got for my birthday. My favourite thing from favourite people. (Gamba combi biru blakang je bukan gift. Tu lukis sendiri bertahun dahulu) so what else do you need? There's always a reason to be happy. Gamba anak sedara tido pon made my day. So. Always find a reason to stay positive. Because u worth it. (Said a person who used to be in critical depression. -_-)
Tengah cuba make time for some people. Saba ye adik adik. Ahkak busy sangat ni.
Sunday, June 7, 2015
It's been busy lately. Sometimes Mak will complain about how busy i've been. I've gained weight for not having proper meal and sleep most of the time.
Happier life. Busier work life. Random events. Random surprise. In conclusion. I am okay with everything in my life at the moment.
I still hate Monday. Still prefer no jerung. Still love to rant kind of Kunang. Still socially awkward. Still have that problem to say no to extra workload.
And today. I finally had that chance to cook again. Woohooo..that feelings... i love to cook more than i love to eat...definitely need to start that cooking therapy thingy again. Andddd..the most important thing is..to have someone or bunch or people to eat it.
I miss you!!!
*my friend just can't believe it when i said this. Steel woman don't have this kind of feelings she said.
Not steel enough. I have my own soft spot. Jeng jeng jeng..
Sunday, May 24, 2015
And i am thankful that we have little Adam in our family now.
I am still sad. Been missing him every single day without fail.
And again, for whatever things that had happened. I know He has a better plan for me. I learned a lot.
I miss you Bapak. Happy 63rd birthday.
Sunday, May 10, 2015
Saturday, April 25, 2015
It's Saturday again. Nothing interesting to update. Just another rant. I've been extra busy lately to the point where I think 24 hours per day just ain't enough.
I haven't have time to run. Walaupun hanya di treadmill dibtunah. I don't do dinner for quite sometimes now because it feels like wasting time. I haven't have fun and i need my life back! I started to feel like i'm aging and i confuse the sakit perut i had with masuk angin ke? Lapar ke? Or gastric ni?
I've been given an opportunity to handle few projects. 1 small project with quite luxury budget- a depot for sampah to be exact where no one in the office really has experience doing it and they let me attend the clarification meeting during their trip to euro. Cool! (Sarcastic mode here, this kind of meeting need the boss to say yes or no and i was the one who say yes or no, cool!) 1 conserve and restore project. Again. No one in the office has experience doing it. And it's a rare opportunity. It is an interesting project, i'm all excited to be the one to lead the team, to deal with the conservator, to learn the history of the building and all. The only thing that make me reluctant to go to the site is the 'cerita hantu'. They allocated quite a big budget for this project. My bosses called it- project mahal. And another 2 are housing project. The budget for these 2 are beyond huge. If i combine both project and sum it up, i lost count. And each time I attend the meeting for these 2, I always feel like i'm one of those characters in those dramas. 'Tak boleh dato', they won't allow us to do that.' Or 'kita shot 14 juta dato'.'
And yesterday one of the bosses held a 'learning session' for the whole office. I have to say that it was more like 'peringatan towards the designers session'.
Rasa nak pitam tengok masalah masalah di site. Seriously. I sometimes feel like badly want to back off. Masa meeting bersama pengguna, they even called the bosses monkey. And they aren't even 40 yet. It's like, mentang-mentang ko dah beli rumah mahal, suka hati nak cakap macam-macam. Seriously? But yes. That's the nature of being an architect. Bila ada masalah. No matter what, team leader la yang kena. And during the learning session, they did mention few projects yang kononnya few steps ahead di stage where, memang kalau dapat makan tak habis la. Andddd...all my projects are in there. There's 5 projects mentioned, and 4 of em are mine. Tahniah la.
My team are scared. I myself? Damn scared. I call this, RIDICULOUS EXPECTATION.
Sunday, April 19, 2015
let's summarize what i've missed updating.
ATV ride with usual suspects : 29th March 2015
went for a way challenging ATV ride with office mate a week before this one. But hey. Being around favourite people mean happy time. Yes. We had fun. Despite that short ride, we had fun mandi manda at the air terjun (Zul je yang mandi! yang lain tukang tengok only) and makan-makan session after that. Right after we finished the ride, it had been raining cats and dogs.
Maisarah is now married. Super happy for her. We knew each other sangat baru lagi. She has this really beautiful heart. She's one of those many people on earth yang i naturally feel comfortable to be around. Kejap je dapat jadi partner in crime. Dah kawen, kna keluar persatuan..he he he.
I promised teha to paint something for he. specifically cute cows. It's been really long since i last paint. So, hasilnya, its a bit like 'orang buta melukis' *sigh*
i blame the canvas. hahahhaha.. the worst part was when my mom made that surprise face and asked, 'kenapa lukis anjing?' *pitam*
ok. i'll repaint the lembu okay?
- E N D -
Sunday, March 15, 2015
I hope i can get rid of this feeling. I hope tomorrow i can laugh it off.
Today, i just had a worthless conversation with someone who is really rude.
Cut it short. I hope this kind of people. Vanish from planet earth. Seriously.
I hope he is not a politician or something or else,(like whoever yand dah berjaya dan disegani) or the whole party lose my vote/the whole organisation hilang my respect to have such arrogant boss like you.
Bawak nama nabi. Perangai macam babi.
Shame on you sir.
Excuse my language.
Monday, March 2, 2015
just a lil update. a lil reminder. and a lil hope for always a better tomorrow.
Teha said finally i had that calming entry. rather than just that usual ranting and complaining.
work is at it's usual status. which is. yeah. remain stressful and hectic. i complained on how bad my cough are these days to the girlfriends. and most of the friends said, it must be because of my immune system since i always get 'too tired' everyday and work extra hours almost everyday. maybe they are right. my cough now is almost gone. and i hope for a better health.
i just started the treadmill routine again, this evening. (like i ever had that routine. LOL) i used to walk a lot back in Tassie, or jungle trekking or do any other physical activities+recreation. The most often walk that i had now in Malaysia is most probably from my workstation(in the office) to the plotter, toilet and bosses' room. (thats like few steps away. The bosses locate me next to their room so i can attend them at anytime. i wonder why i always get this kind of treatment)
I need to live healthily. That's the point here.
i remember being in depression. i have few of my friends who sounds depressed at the moment and the only thing i can offer is my shoulder for them to lean on.
and to remind them to keep on counting blessing. I have no other good advice to say. I said that a lot to myself. I try hard to seek for any small little thing that can make me happy. (yes, that include stuck in heavy traffic with comfort food or bumped into lelaki kacak or perempuan cantik or baby comel. LOL)
so remember, keep on counting blessing. The most positive me was when my father passed away. It's amazing how Allah make me, me. I've been in my lowest low few times indeed after my father died. But to keep on reminding myself that i have all the love from friends that i can count on from all around the world brings me hope. So. I counted mine(blessing). Keep on counting yours.
So here are some my week updates.
Here the sushi pack i had while stuck in the heavy traffic. Comfort food during heavy traffic?
it's a bless.
- E N D -
Sunday, February 22, 2015
i'd love to share some part of my new place with you!