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Thursday, December 11, 2014


i hate it when i have to choose. or to decide. to know that the decision i'm gonna make will lead me to be better or bitter makes it even worst.

i'm giving up my plan on doing phd. yes. i still can accept the offer. the offer will end on october next  year. but for now. i think, i should've strive for the professional title first. i gave up the jerung i dated. i found out i just met another me. like another difficult me. i can't live with another me. no way. but yes. he inspired me a lot. i'm so gonna make sure i'll be as successful as he is now when i'm his age. i remind him a lot of himself when he was young.

and now. it's all about choosing working place. i want to make money. like badly want to make money. i used to tell people, i don't want to be rich, i want to be filthy rich. out of 3 places i've went for interviews, i categorize them as A-easy target B-neutral and safe C-hell.

A & C already offered me a place. C basically is a place where everyone of us architect wanna go because they have brilliant directors (most of em are award winners), but they pay so-so. so that us the youngster hesitate to go and learn. the bosses are scary. I still remember that super long interview session 3pm to 930pm and that look on the director's face with that "WE ARE NOT COOL" on the whiteboard. yes. not cool at all. But if you want to go beyond limit, this is definitely the place. that scary director likes me though, as in i've brought lights in the room. yes. difficult people usually likes me. except jep.(eh. tak habes lagi jep???hahha...he's not difficult. he is just too brilliant anyway)

B. interviews went on for 2 hour and 20 minutes. and the uncle who interviewed me, he's really calm and studied all pages of my portfolio. one of the directors is my father's senior back in manchester. he just bashed in during the interview session, and asked "anak fihir eh?rupa kamu macam dia."  and i was like, how do  i react to this pakcik that most probably will be my boss. the one who interviewed me have that  straight face, my late bapak's style. my judgement, i can hidup in this firm. tak banyak kisah unexpected most probably.

and A. i have 1 acquaintance working there, and i asked how the boss like? and what should i know about the interviews. and she only answered "kalau sekejap boss tak suka la tu, kalau  lama boss suka"  they have 3 candidates on that day. the other 2 and me. first candidate went in, 10 minutes. 2nd candidate, 8 minutes. and me? 40 minutes plus minus. i assume we need 1 minute to walk to the boss' room and 1 more minute to walk to the door. so, that 8 minutes candidate had his interview session for only 6 minutes. seriously? sigh. walked in, greeted the boss. and i started talking. explain la sikit-sikit pasal portfolio. and he kept on asking questions. and i was like, okayyyy. He likes me. Tettttttt....easy target. the boss basically explain to me about the list of projects they have.completed, proposal, and the organization and all. he's the kind, if he likes someone, he will just like them. i can play that role!

basically, all of them asked why i do not stay at current firm. 2 of them directly told me that i'm pretty/beautiful (i don't know why is this necessary?) one of them told me that i have that award winner character and not surprise that i would set up my own firm in my thirties. one of them offer me knowledge from the best. one of them offer me all the easy money i could earn.

so which one?

money?  or learn the hardway?

- E N D -

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