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Monday, September 30, 2013

harap mampu terus kuat

penat
itu yang sebenarnya
bersyukur kerana sentiasa dikurniakanNya manusia-manusia indah
yang mahu bantu sepenuh jiwa
jika bukan kerana mereka
mungkin habis semua lukisan aku lempar ke lautan.
kesusahan mengingatkan betapa ajaib hidup ini
yang penting terus mara tidak kira apa pun.

*naik basikal pun kalau berhenti mengayuh pasti jatuh, apatah lagi kehidupan.

- E N D -

Tuesday, September 24, 2013

sitting in the corner

yesterday, we had workshop, career workshop where UTAS invited most of the known professionals, some of them are architects, and some just someone who used to study architecture but don't practice it but yet, still success in what they they are doing now.

so, sementara sesi makan-makan pagi berjalan. i was sitting in the corner until this one guy approach me, "hey, you should mingle and make connections." and i was like "and what the hell are you doing here? making connections with me?" ok..tipu..tu monolog dalaman. tapi aku biar je la dia duduk skali kat corner tu ngan aku. nasib baik tak sempat awkward moment, ada je la kawan-kawan asian lain yang datang tegur and sembang. aku tak mampu bertahan sket awkward silent.

sampai la sampai macam dah agak lama takde sape datang tegur dah. aku pon start tanya dia. "kenapa hang tak pi get connected?" sebab dia macam ramah je aku tengok. " i don't socialize much." ringkas. aku dah boleh agak dah mamat ni sejenis aku dah ni. manusia berselirat agak memenatkan otak aku. lepas tu dia tanya, "which group are you going to join later?" aku cakap aku suka multidisciplinary. lepas tu dia buat suggestion ngok "let's go the the largest group, where most people go, then we can just sit and listen," aku tatau nak buat muka camne. tapi boleh tahan mamat ni merapu. tak pnah bercakap, dapat cakap terus merapu haaa..dia local. tapi aku tak paham kenapa dia tak bercampur sangat. so aku simpulkan, ni memang stok malas bercampur la ni.

owh yaaa...ada ramai yang datang semalam, ada 2 professionals yang mendapat sambutan hangat sket la, sorang handsome gila macam baru keluar magazine, yang sorang lagi hot macam Rachel Zane. Lepas tu mamat sebelah tu ngomel-ngomel lagi, "macam mana nak famous ni, pandai sahaja macam tak cukup, macam kena jadi hot stuff jugak baru boleh naik cepat." lepas tu dia pon dok boh segala nama architect yang famous2. betul la tu. majority pandai, digabungkan hot or hipster, beserta ego tinggi tak menahan. aku mampu telan2 air liur je dengar. dok teringat balik, kat Malaysia pon mende sama jugak. T_T.  aku pnah design hotel ni, director hotel tu cakap ngan budak lagi sorang yang ikut aku, sampai la boss aku sound, "she's the one who's gonna design all these things," (oke..ni kisah inferior tak tentu hala, ni semua aku rasa rentetan perbincangan dengan ska smalam pasal kejayaan orang lain, stok-stok cantik with brain ni, paham dak? sebab jarang beno nak dengar org tu tak hot, tapi famous.)

so. sebelum aku blah. aku usya balik betul-betul mamat tadi. eh. ko comel je kot! laju je aku cakap. "hey, don't worry, you're not that bad. it just that you have to really mingle around and make connections, see you around"

masuk je group yang aku pilih tadi, jumpa balik mamat tadi, dia tanya, " you don't really attracted to attractive people aren't you?"

"he is attractive, and this is not the largest group, why are you here?" sambil duduk, sambil tengok speaker group aku. tak hensem langsung. hipster la kot sket2. connections yang penting. tetiba ada satu part tu, speaker aku cakap, "kalo ko sedar ko tak attractive, ko cari connections yang tak kisah pon ko rupa macam mana."

motip?

mamat tadi pandang aku, aku pandang dia balik. ni nak cakap kitorang hodoh ke apa ni?

*rasa nak lari ke bucu bilik.

- E N D -

who are you?

it's surprising how people changed and changing. to better or worse. i am surprise.
who are you?
i prefer the old you.

and i won't change, just because you have changed.

sincerely,
me.

- E N D -

Monday, September 23, 2013

500 days of summer

i can't really remember the last time i watched 500 days of summer before last 3 weeks. but one thing i am sure, is that, i m so on Summer's side.

i kinda hate the movie now and to the fact that i only watched it long time ago because i would want to watch that cute Joseph Gordon Levitt in it. yes. i know. pathetic. and i just didn't get it why i felt differently back then when i watched it.

except for that sizzling hot physical thing that Summer had, i do possess almost all the quality in summer. yes. the bad quality of it. i do make friends through music. most of the time. i did.

so this is an entry  from my point of view about this kind of girl. i mean Summer kind. and yes. it's about me.

in my point of view, we shouldn't really blame Summer , she did mentioned earlier about the casualty of the relationship. he should have understood from the very beginning. she's not that cold hard bitch. she just don't want to develop that wrong feelings towards unnecessary person. she did have a boyfriend before she met Tom Hensen, because those friends that she had, are friends that she never put in that special friendzone list like what she did to Tom. I do have friends who i knew like me, and from the very beginning been warned about never expect anything from me and it turn out they tried hard to break the walls and before they succeed breaking the wall, i m gone forever, and some of them just changed to the meanest creature on earth. scary eh how people on earth actually live? hmmm... and i do have a lot of friends that i did not put in my 'special friendzone list', but, it seems like, its either they are too afraid to ask me about getting serious, or they just someone's boyfriend. well, this happen to me with one of my boy bestfriend. he got engaged. and suddenly few weeks before the marriage, he got confused maybe, and said that he loves me more than anyone else in the world. and my inner thoughts went: 'so, why didn't you ask before? you already asked other woman to be your other half. it's too late buddy!"

but, it just an inner thought,
i answered stuff like,"no, we've spent too much time together. so, i think you are confuse." until the day i knew the wedding was called off. i was shocked to death. but still.  im sorry, i did like you before,, i mean there's a potential that i might say yes if you asked me about getting serious before, but it's too late now. i m not ready to be your option. i rather be with my maniac 'fans,/stalkers' or whatever you called it, rather than be your option. (yes, i know, bajet sangat ada peminat!)

and gossip really won't work towards me. i'll never take it seriously. i'll just assume that people would happy to see us together. and the real fact is. either i am too polite to say 'hell no, i won't have heart for that guy!' or vice versa.  there's one gossip back Malaysia where i kinda know that this guy really had feelings for me too, (see, i like him too! magic!) but, he never asked me but he kept asking my friends about me instead. knowing me, my close friends would say, don't take risk to anyone who would want to try. and it end up. no he didn't ask me. he got engaged with some other woman now. and  i still remember those days when i kinda said to my friends stuff like "leave me alone, you guys are not helping at all, i like him before you told me this, but now i hate him because he asked my friend about my feelings before he asked me." and since then, they rarely make decisions for me. although they always worried about me crushing someone's heart.

being nice towards me as well meant nothing. i'll just assume that you're nice. because i am nice towards others too without expecting anything in return.

so, the conclusion for this entry is, if you like someone. let them know. there's no taboo to that. there's no harm doing that. i do have friends who confessed and still my best friend until now, and he got married and now he comes in package with his wife and their daughter to be part of good thing that happened in my life. if she's really your friend, they won't leave you. but yeah, i understand alter ego, it would be awkward later, but trust me, this kind of girl, they don't judge.  or by any chance they might like you too. ask. you are the man. be serious when you say it, because this kind of girls, they never take anything seriously, until they were told that it is serious. why should men make the first move? i'll say because it is necessary, you are the one who's gonna lead us one day. if we end up married anyway.

hint won't work, being nice won't work, or any other gesture just don't work. until it is confirmed. then they will let themselves develop themselves in loving you back. if they say no. then the answer will be no. stop forcing. yes, you can try for the second time. but if that doesn't work too. stop it before they start using you and stop value your friendship.

so, all in all. i am writing this on behalf all the women n girls out there who always mistakenly judge as cold bitch by everyone. Our feeling are priceless. we won't develop it for someone who don't deserve our sincerity. love us sincerely, and don't forget to remain as our best friend.

* i just lost a friend. and i don't know if he even was.
** i just feel like i need to write this entry. i always feel that man is the most complicated human being. yes. i know. everyone seems to agree more on how complicated a woman can be.
*** aku tengah tak paham keadaan yang berlaku

- E N D -

Sunday, September 22, 2013

wrap up minggu ini.

just like what i've been babbling in my previous post about how hectic my week was...so...it is finally over...i mean for the interim part...it is not really that over, over. but at least, i may have time for myself and be normal human being again and have my heart pumping at it's normal beat.

like one of my friend said. 'kita ni burung hantu pencen.' i couln't agree more. stay up late at night or sleepless night sounds irrelevant to me these days. so, it was always a 2am to 5am sleep, or 12 to 5 am sleep. no matter what. i will surely sleep, at least 3hours per day. or else my work pace will become slower, and the design product will be just rubbish.

the conclusion for last Friday's interim. they were all fine with my idea. and they're not okay with the way i presented my board. to be honest, i became more passive each day and i don't know why. it just that, it's easier that way. i speak up when people ask question. i did babbling, ranting, and all those speaking thingy, but only with certain people. my lecturers complained that i am too shy and keep blocking people from getting inside my head. and they have these people, judging by  my appearance maybe, or my character or i don't know what, they do have this belief that i might be really good with hand drawing which i'm not. mat saleh ni kadang-kadang pelik, they got amazed by your scratchy sketches, and that is just...euwww...stop it...but yep. it seems like i have to give them what they want.  i'll work out my sketch skill and have the elevations and sections that they always wanted.



nah. jemput tengok idea awal library aku yang kononnya special sangat. ramp bersepah habaq ang. the external panel did say, ' i think you really love seattle library, have you been there?' and i was like,..'urm, not yet..' i am that 'lucky last' as they called it to present during interim..sebelum tu pakcik tu (the external panel) dah hamukan dekat satu student, aku dah tak tentu arah. Alhamdulillah, during my time, they were all okay, helpful with ideas, and diorang macam paham la, aku ni memang pemalu, lepas tu nasihat lama gila, dari aku berdiri, smpai aku tarik kerusi duduk sebab rasa nak pitam berdiri lama sangat. so, overall Alhamdulillah. tak kna bambu sehingga mendatangkan rasa down. haha. and right after submission, i went to see budak yang kena bambu kaw kaw tadi, rasa nak tolong nangis untuk dia, sebab dia smpai tak bersuara sebab tahan nangis. aku mana boleh tengok kejadian begini. haih.

kepada yang membantu membakar semangat. terima kasih. kepada yang tak paham2 aku busy nak pandang kiri kanan pon tak sempat, terima kasih sebab make it clear that i don't need you in my life anymore.

- E N D -

Wednesday, September 18, 2013

kurang lebih. 30 jam.

jumaat interim. esok submit. apa aku buat sini?

aku dah nak meroyan. dah tahap membebel sorang-sorang. punya masalah susah focus. berangan banyak sangat. or sebenar nya mental aku dah terlalu penat. buat drawing je pon kunang!

kisah semalam yang lebih menyerabutkan. "kakak, mama cakap terima kasih."
kenapa aku kena tahu? damn.

- E N D -

Monday, September 16, 2013

sebelum senang

new entry means new rant. and these complaints series sound almost the same. 

kisah tak puas hati dengan kehidupan.

i have less than 24hrs before next meeting with my supervisor. went to see her this morning, and from the comments, i reckon she expects wonders for tomorrow. 3 jam dah bazir tidur tadi akibat malam semalam tido tak berkualiti. lebih 2 jam tenung plan sebab dah tatau mana lagi nak diusik. aku rasa dia comment banyak tadi. keyword hari ni : dungeon. 'it's like you're throwing the kids into the dungeon.' jawapan aku? "it's safer down there~" supervisor blah sat, ada je bunyi-bunyi sumbang dari group mates seperti  "it's my design, i like it, i want to do it my way." 

pfftttt..getus hatiku. (aku excited tiap kali guna perkataan getus, aku tatau kenapa. maybe sebab masa sekolah aku belum ada vocab tu? kesian?)  nak cakap macam tu jugak rasanya. haha. tapi aku 'care' kehendak 'client' aku. gittew. alter ego architect aku....?tinggi. tapi tak cukup tinggi.

semalam CAD file crash. aku rasa nak crash semua benda. rasa nak bunuh orang pun ada. tapi bermuram durja tiada gunanya. kuteruskan juga kehidupan yang tak tentu destinasi ini. 

kasihan siapa-siapa yang cuba menunjukkan kasih sayang semalam. housemate la tu. aku tak boleh dengar sekelumit suara pon sebab sakit hati CAD file crush. rasa nak baling barang. sebab otak aku ligat  fikir macam mana nak recover file, nak suruh aku fikir cara nak respond pada kasih sayang ko pulak? aku rant pun aku tak bagi kawan aku respond. hasilnya, depa cakap. 'keep calm and carry on Kunang.' aku rasa bijak la respond tu. babak-babak kasihan dan simpati tak berapa nak work untuk aku.

esok? mari lah selesaikan mana yang belum selesai. let's decide where to start from. and just go. 

bak kata Helen, "hang ni boleh dak promote kelebihan hang instead of sibuk habaq kat aku masalah apa lagi hat belum selesai? ni aku dok lagi suka projek hang dari hang ni pecer?" ok. tipu. Helen cakap omputih. tapi time dia cakap tadi, automatic otak aku digest keluar loghat Penang lenggok mami.

total masa bazir? maybe 12 jam. 5 jam tadi. sebentar lagi buang masa cari jawapan. blog. tido. 7 jam. 12 jam la tu. betul-betul focus? ko kira la sendiri Kunang.




current obsession. tak obsess sangat la. sape nak bagi kepala untuk aku test?
- E N D -

Saturday, September 14, 2013

foodie? not.

it's already spring here in Australia. and in Launceston, we still have that -2degree weather at night. with that kind of weather, it's so hard for me to get out from the duvet. with the interim thingy that will be happening next week, it is a stressful week i must say with the freezing weather. Sometimes, i wonder if my Subuh prayers all this while were 'sah'. menggigil macam hape je kot. T_T.

Last night, i was worried about today. will i be able to be that morning person again? aha. So, i made myself a motivation plan. i'm so in love with this vegan laksa by garden of vegan. they have a restaurant. but i still fail to find the location of the restaurant, so, the easiest way is to get em during harvest market on saturday. i was like 'okayyy,  i will wake up early for that yummy laksa? you badly want it right kunang? so, wake up early for it!' nampak tak motivasi aku mudah sangat...makanan yang sedap... T_T then tak payah complain kenapa makin lama makin gemuk. 

well i nearly gave it up. it's super cold this morning, and stay in bed seems the most relevant thing to do. tapi. kugagahkan jua demi laksa ini. so here it is. vegan laksa! the look was not so impressive. but the taste was nice..and it's for vegan...healthy eh? they also sell desserts and cake and some other foods i can't recall, because all im focusing on was only their laksa..haha..all vegan...for the cakes and desserts, i think they are a bit pricey considering the portion, but it's healthy, people just bought em anyway. for the laksa, it costs 9aud. tapi super kenyang. and next time, i'm planning on bringing my own cutlery. sudu dia tak best. susah aku nak hirup kuah dia yang sedap. the best part was, when there's a couple asked to join in the table, tetiba diorang bawak keluar cutlery sendiri, speechless. aku baru fikir nak buat, dah ada orang buat. so, next time, boleh buat la...takde la rasa macam tak senonoh sangat. and they were like reciting a mantra or whatever they called it before eating their food, trust me , i tried hard not to make funny face, tapi, muka daku, agak obvious bila hairan. haih. maaf la...it's a free country anyway, you may practice whatever you want to practice. i don't mind. i terkejut saja. hihihi. 


and......for the first time....i made tiramisu.....pahit...T_T....but i forgive myself as it's my first time. next time i believe i can make a better tiramisu...hahahhaa...kesian tukang-tukang makan...hahaha....tahu dah camne nak kasi sedap next time..next time buat, maybe la lepas makan, terus orang mintak aku bukak kedai jual kek ke???. hahahhaa...here the close up of the tiramisu layer..



with nice food, there's no reason for not being happy. right?

- E N D -

Thursday, September 12, 2013

freezing thursday

i'm not sure whether it is really cold outside...or it is just me...i am all wrapped up like chicken slice in kebab pita bread...

so..yesterday was the day i bid farewell to ADR (Advance Design Research) .. hope everything will goes well. now, i can concentrate on PP (Professional Project).. as usual.. i am in that panic mode...and not deciding what i would want to do with my design thingy. well, i do have plans that work. but it seems too safe at the moment, too safe here mean a plan that u can't like nor hate. it happen all the time anyway to any random archi students. so, i had that 'krik krik' moment yesterday during ADR presentation and i hate it. T_T please be ok... i can't stand living another year here in Launceston. NO.

back to PP,  my last tute session was...hmm..i don't know how to explain it....but...the lecturers did ask for crazy models...and i was like...what?? i only have that not so crazy 3D images that i've produced last night. and i don't have enough time to give you new 'crazy' model each time we have tute session. and my supervisor seems to have that belief that i love to make models...and i have the potential to make these fancy design thingy. thanks for the impression? T_T now im in dilemma whether to stay safe or just design crazily without thinking stuff like "chop, kalo building ni terbakar, orang nak lari kot mana?"

it took me forever to decide. O Allah, give me strength!

- E N D -

Tuesday, September 10, 2013

failed

azam tahun baru hari tu yang konon nya takmo beli buku dah. boleh la bawak azam tu pegi tahun depan pulak. kot la dah kerja nanti aku busy sampai tak sempat survey buku.

dah tak pegi bookshop, hujung jari pon jalan.

haih.

- E N D -

Monday, September 9, 2013

mahar

okay. mari discuss issue lebih dewasa. kisah mahar perkahwinan. issue hantaran yang tinggi macam tak pernah ada kesudahan dibincangkan.

pertama sekali, kita petik dulu satu sabda Rasulullah SAW yang lebih kurang bermaksud :

Sebaik-baik wanita adalah yang elok rupanya dan yang paling rendah maharnya ( riwayat mana tak sure, sila check)

entry ni, trigger nya dari repost ini dari seorang kawan lelaki di facebook.


statement begini, pasti membuatkan ramai kaum hawa melatah, dan sedikit berkecil hati dengan susun atur ayat. konteks isi yang hendak disampaikan mudah, "worth it kah perempuan ini sehingga perlu dia dilaburkan sedemikian harga?"

sungguh, ramai yang melatah. baik lelaki mahupun perempuan. dari latahan, kita sendiri boleh lihat, warna apa yang cuba dipamerkan oleh setiap individu.

kita kembali kepada sabda Rasulullah SAW. kisah wanita yang terbaik untuk dijadikan isteri ialah yang paling rendah maharnya. bercakap sebagai seorang perempuan, sungguh, untuk saya, wang hantaran yang tinggi tidak menjanjikan apa-apa. hantaran untuk hari ini lebih kepada menyahut bunyi-bunyi liar sekeliling atau lebih mudah dipanggil, social pressure. tapi lihat semula kisah si lelaki, layakkah dia menghadiahkan mahar yang murah? kita lihat semula si lelaki yang bercakap, apakah kualiti yang si lelaki ada untuk membolehkan dia layak mengatakan perempuan lain tidak layak untuk menerima mahar yang tinggi?
perempuan sempurna tidak perlu mahar yang tinggi kerana nilai dirinya. sama seperti lelaki yang sempurna, tidak perlu bawa mahar tinggi untuk perempuan kerana kualiti yang ada dalam diri yang dibawanya.

perlu diingat juga. kita berkahwin dengan seseorang, kita berkahwin dengan seluruh keluarganya. kita bangga dengan kelebihan pasangan, dan kita juga 'mencintai' kelemahannya. ada sebab mengapa ibu bapa terlibat dalam kisah menetapkan 'harga' untuk anak mereka. 'keikhlasan' manusia terlalu subjektif. meletakkan harga kini salah satu 'cara' untuk menguji kesungguhan lelaki kononnya. bukan mudah untuk memindahkan amanah Allah yang dulunya amanah mereka kepada seorang lelaki yang tidak pasti hati budinya.

Dengan keadaan sekarang, dengan kerapuhan iman masing-masing, masing-masing curiga, betapa "ikhlas", betapa bersungguh si lelaki ini mahukan si perempuan menjadi the other half mereka, perlu saya katakan, nilai hantaran tinggi seems legit. kononnya untuk membuktikan kesungguhan si lelaki. logik ada di sana sini, boleh dikira berapa banyak perkahwinan yg betul-betul dilangsungkan kerana Allah, mahu sama-sama saling melengkapi menuju jannah? banyak perkahwinan sekarang dilangsungkan untuk memenuhi kehendak hati dan ego masing-masing. dan apa perlunya alter ego dalam kes ini?

statement yang saya letak untuk entry ini, sama seperti statement seorang perempuan yang cakap dia mahukan imam yang sempurna untuk dirinya. sama kisahnya. ada lelaki yang melatah. sekali lagi, perempuan murah mengapa sibuk mahukan imam sempurna? kisah serupa, mengapa mahukan isteri sempurna sedangkan diri belum cukup sedia memimpin keluarga? sekurang-kurangnya, perempuan terang-terang dicipta untuk dipimpin, jadi, pamerkan ciri pemimpin yang baik.

maka, perbaiki diri masing-masing. if you're good, then you deserve someone good. if not. berangan je la.

























okay, malas dah nak type. sape nak discuss, boleh PM. hahaha... dah banyak kali dah sesi macam ni ada. tapi pastikan susun atur ayat tu cantik sikit ya. buang alter ego. baik lelaki, mahupon perempuan. kalau tengah emo, tunggu dah sejuk, dah rational baru kita duduk bincang. kalau tanya aku? aku tak setuju pon belanja banyak-banyak untuk majlis, kisah lepas majlis banyak lagi nak pikir.

- E N D -

Sunday, September 8, 2013

perlu alat bantuan jantung


nak balik zaman dulu-dulu. apa pon tak payah pikir. mende paling berat nak pikir pon hanyalah macam mana nak pegi buat nakal tanpa dimarah.

- E N D -

that fishy moment

curiosity kills. please don't give me any clue about it at all at the first place. now that i am not only ready to listen, but eagerly want to listen to your story(ies).

be safe.

- E N D -

Saturday, September 7, 2013

jangan

jangan diduga baik ini
jangan
jangan cuba minta diulang untuk kali sejuta kali
jangan biar aku ambil kesempatan akan baik mu
aku benci, sungguh.

jangan galakkan
jangan engkau tunjukkan jalan mudah aku tak perlu hargai kau
selagi kau aku anggap kawan, aku cuba untuk tidak sakiti.

jangan harap aku berhenti
aku pasti terus berlari
pasti.

kau pasti jumpa seperti yang ditakdir.
tunggu.





- E N D -

Friday, September 6, 2013

untuk kali keseratus lima puluh juta

buang masa aku berhari-hari. aku memutuskan. aku nak tipu je contour yang menyakitkan hati ni.



- E N D -

Thursday, September 5, 2013

tricky it is.

i always had this problem. when i think i don't have enough friends, i complain. when i think i have too many of them, i complain.

ni la namanya tak bersyukur. i am in that kakak-kakak mode just now when i finally said, "you'll think whatever i say today is just ridiculous, but one day, once you are my age, you'll understand." hey, i use to be as 'mentah' as you once, and think that older doesn't mean wiser.

whenever i feel malas, i have everyone who kept encouraging me to keep marching popped in mind. family, friends and everyone. teha yang selalu excited dengan project aku, thank you teha. bila aku malas aku selalu rasa bersalah kat ko. whenever i want to feel down, i'll have my father in my mind, to see him all worried nun jauh di Malaysia because i am too stressed with all my work here, padahal apalah sangat keje aku kat sini, belajar je pon. yup. whenever i feel down, i'll try to recall all the happy moments. i have a lots of them. and i'll let the happy memories blurring down the sad one. with all the unconditional loves that make my world (at least) goes around, it's unfair to say i'm not happy enough.


so. song of the day.
by Dewi Lestari

Sahabatku, usai tawa iniIzinkan aku bercerita:
Telah jauh, ku mendakiSesak udara di atas puncak khayalanJangan sampai kau di sana
Telah jauh, ku terjatuhPedihnya luka di dasar jurang kecewaDan kini sampailah, aku di sini...
Yang cuma ingin diam, duduk di tempatkuMenanti seorang yang biasa sajaSegelas air di tangannya, kala kuterbaring... sakitYang sudi dekat, mendekap tangankuMencari teduhnya dalam matakuDan berbisik : "Pandang aku, kau tak sendiri,oh dewiku..."Dan demi Tuhan, hanya itulah yangItu saja kuinginkan
Sahabatku, bukan maksud hati membebani,Tetapi...
Telah lama, kumenantiSatu malam sunyi untuk kuakhiriDan usai tangis ini, aku kan berjanji...
Untuk diam, duduk di tempatkuMenanti seorang yang biasa sajaSegelas air di tangannya, kala kuterbaring... sakitMenentang malam, tanpa bimbang lagiDemi satu dewi yang lelah bermimpiDan berbisik : "Selamat tidur, tak perlu bermimpi bersamaku..."
Wahai Tuhan, jangan bilang lagi itu terlalu tinggi




towards the end. the one that you gonna love the most. your forever sahabat, who you know you can always count on.



- E N D -

Tuesday, September 3, 2013

why grandma?? why?

received an email from the lecturer this morning...hari yang bajet-bajet ceria bertukar kureng sket.. terbayang-bayang aku cara dia gelak yang agak phenomenal tu... -_-"


i love you abang secott..aku rasa aku dah jawab last meeting...'my grandma would love to see that..."

part ni aku macam nak cakap...'apa lagi mat saleh ni mahu?' dah bagi betis nak peha pulak..orang lain jari pun diorang tak bagi haaa... okay laaa...sure dia nampak aku rajin ni...sebab aku memang bagi final draft yang final...tu selamba mintak pikir macam-macam lagi tu..

tapi issue sekarang ni...grandma. dia cakap grandma dia sure tak paham presentation aku... haih. yang penting grandma i paham secott..grandma i...


* dia patut tahu..aku tak bape pandai bab-bab compose board..baru last week kena tibai sebab kak hell ngn kak jude cakap aku ada masalah menyusun board. C dulu cakap aku macam chris. tak suka buat section and terlalu banyak mende dalam kepala smpai tak tahu mana nak letak atas board. time kasih la C. rasa genius kejap disamakan dengan chris. silap tajuk research dah aku nih....too late kunang..too late...

- E N D -

Sunday, September 1, 2013

i don't have any 'A' title for this one

to be honest, "where's your crazy models?" question that keep lingering in my mind...and i cant stop thinking about it... haih...

had a hectic week...like seriously super hectic..no proper rest  until last friday...Alhamduillah finally i can sleep in peace...and last night was the best sleep ever..its like 13 hours beauty sleep..and i end up bangun tidur rasa dahaga teramat due to dehydration...

so many things happened...so many things i learned...so many things that i found out i have to start teaching myself leaning to do so...and now i believe...giving second chance sometimes is just a stupid thing to do...

i always have issue with people who keep blaming others without first blaming themselves. i just don't get it. this is your lesson kunang. i didn't learn my lesson before. but i do now.

i should start appreciate people who appreciate me.

being rude is a choice. and it seems like you choose to be one. pity you. congratulations on your good act. i don't mind being seen as the culprit and you look all angelic. karma is a bitch in case you forget. i am sick listening people blaming everyone. and for the first time in my life. i fail to see good qualities that left in people.

whenever i am upset. i kept reminding myself about the good things that happened between us. and in you. your 'bad list' seems to double your 'good list'. i'm sorry. i choose not to be rude. but definitely choose to be all unreal in front of you. i promise.

- E N D -