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Thursday, January 31, 2013

Expect the unexpected

Expect the unexpected.

A phrase that will always remind me to a friend. Use to be a very close one indeed. We understood each other like we've known each other for forever.

BTW..we hate each other now...and it's better that way.

Lesson learnt today. I forget to expect the unexpected. I forget the fact that the closer you are to someone, the higher the chance of getting hurt. Too afraid of hurting might hurt too. I am afraid of getting hurt, but I am more afraid of hurting.

People won't be nice all the time. But it did not make them bad at all. To get hurt is normal. The most important is not being the one who you already hate.

What had happened today made me realize. I had hurt a lot of people. Seriously. 

Yup.

Lesson learnt.

Aku tau aku tak layak sakit hati pon.

I really am sorry. Should be apologizing to everyone. Who do I start first?

Yes. You.

E N D

Tuesday, January 29, 2013

Pangkat

Apa erti hidup jika tidak tahu erti hormat
Apa erti hidup jika kemaruk hormat tapi tidak pandai menghormati

Masih wujudkah hormat?
Jujur, lama aku rasa wujudnya hormat hanya pada perkataan, perasaan itu sudah lama pupus,

Selalu aku dengar, tiada beza tua dan muda, hormat tiada, biadap pasti muncul,

Aku sedar aku biadap.

Sentiasa.

Aku jawab bila aku rasa aku tak mampu setuju dengan sesiapa sahaja.
Kadang kala sepi tak bersuara.
Gusar jika derhaka.

Yang pasti. "Darah muda" selalu bodoh.
Selalu rasa makan garam lebih tak membawa makan garam lebih itu lebih bijak.

Kerana mereka rasa mereka lebih bijak dari si makan garam lebih,
Mereka lupa.
Si pemakan garam lebih mungkin tidak bijak seperti mereka, tapi bukan bermakna mereka hidup untuk diperbodohkan mereka yang masih MENTAH.

Si Mentah belum TUA.

Ya. Masih ramai yang sudah tua tapi akalnya juga masih mentah.

Tapi.

Bila mentah direspon mentah.

Apa jadinya?

SAMPAH.

Friday, January 25, 2013

muslim i am

i can get really emotional when it is about religion.

i always hated it when people asked me 'what are you?'

and i really can't blame them as i might not look as a perfect Asian in their eyes with my heights and skin color. yup. sometimes in Malaysia too, people ask.

Enough about race.

i just don't understand why can't we just live in peace. Why must we think that we are better than others? Why must we think that we are better than others with other religion.

belum kira yang baik hati nak buy me 'drinks' bila aku stress. siap kata ' yeah i know you're muslim, but i don't mind if you want to drink, i have a lot of Muslims friends who drink'. (mind my grammar)

ye. jawapan baik nya. 'no, thanks'.

jawapan tak berapa baik. owh. saya Muslim yang tak minum.

yup. dunia akhir zaman. setitik nila. habis semua cecair.

yang tanya, 'so, you still read Quran?'. sentap. sebab tahu tak bukak pon hari-hari. kalau bukak Quran macam bukak FB, maka makin ramailah ahli syurga.

yang tak pernah keluar dari tempurung, masih lagi seperti anjing menyalak bukit.

yang dah keluar tempurung, baru tersedar betapa hina Islam di mata mereka yang bencikan Islam dan bencikan agama-agama lain.

serious kalau fikir time zaman Rasulullah... bila-bila tengah emo.. boleh sejuk serta merta.

kau baru orang tempik. baru kena hina. dah rasa macam end of the world.

Rasulullah? Siap suap makanan dekat orang yang pernah menyebarkan keburukan Baginda dengan lemah lembut. Belum kira darah bertakung dalam kasut lagi. Beruntunglah kita, kerana kita umat yang paling disayangi Rasulullah.

bersabarlah Kunang. Siapa kita nak menghukum makhluk lain? Allah ada.

Semoga Allah mengurniakan hidayah buat mereka.

*boleh nampak perbezaan perangai orang yang taat pada perintah Tuhannya. tidak kira apa jua agamanya. mengeji yang lain takkan membuat kita lebih baik.

emo sat bila baca macam macam kat net. maka kisah-kisah lama semua terbit macam matahari...ya..tapi bahangnya boleh 'terbenam' , sama seperti matahari.

- E N D -

Thursday, January 24, 2013

after effect

ter-discover new page.

lepas baca INI.. <--------

terus tatau nak rasa apa...

wow?

gila!

tapi aku rasa bukan rakyat tempatan ni yang tulis semua ni.

ye. kalo aku buat buku. dah hampir tebal humiliation yang pernah diterima sepanjang hidup di bumi kangaroo ni. Muslim. Asian. Woman. and covered.

ain't easy. ain't easy.

- E N D -

Wednesday, January 23, 2013

life is...

towards the end...

they will always want us to be how they want us to be.

i'm not sure for who's good. but i see it as selfish rather than selfless.

you'll never get to understand human being..never.

- E N D -

Saturday, January 19, 2013

so... so... so...

yesterday...uncle nassir (fahimah's father, my ex-dorm mate in Juntech) pass away...its blood cancer...

alfatihah

honestly...all of us kinda expected it already before it happen...but..i am still too shock to receive the news...he was a 'lively' man.. to imagine he's no longer in this world.....sad...but i know..Pae sure lagi sedih..

stay strong Pae...


- E N D -

Tuesday, January 15, 2013

Food Inc

Pernah tonton food inc?? Last 2 days (if im not mistaken) ada keluar kat tv. Maka, tonton la kami cerita tersebut. And seriously...its a movie I recommend everyone watching. Its not really a movie-movie...its more to a discovery..all food related..like who is actually the biggest buyer in food industry...how good is organic food.. how good is free range chicken..what they fed the cow so they became fat and ready to be eaten in certain amount of time and etc.

Towards the end...aku rasa macam nak bela ayam sendiri..and tanam sayur sendiri belakang umah...haha.. and yes..aku nangis part dorang masuk chicken house, tengok ayam tu boleh jalan selangkah dua je sebab dalam tu pack gila and ayam ayam tu semua tak larat angkat badan sendiri sebab badan sendiri terlalu berat.

Balik dari coles, qil tanya "nape you tak beli ayam?"

Tak sure nak jawab ape..tapi masih ternampak nampak ayam tu tak boleh jalan sebab tak mampu tampung berat badan sendiri... ok..ikan FTW!! Tapi telur ayam still makan... T_T

Sunday, January 13, 2013

masalah

jangan pernah ingat kita sahaja yang punya masalah seberat gunung
ingat
hambaNya yang lain juga punya
walau sekelumit
apa erti mengalih masalah sendiri kepada yang lain
mana tanggung jawab?
mana perikemanusiaan?
kenapa perlu bersuara kalau tidak mahu menolong?
tolong sakitkan hati?

TAK PERLU!

lidah sememangnya lebih tajam dari pisau
lebih tajam lagi bila otak tumpul hati tercemar

belum kira lagi bila engkau rasa orang lain semua salah engkau yang paling bijak

apa erti persahabatan?
mana pergi kemanusian?
satu perkara perlu diingat.
selagi tidak mati, pasti itu peringatan darinya.

pasti.

bagaimana pula dengan mereka yang tiada rasa bersalah?

sampah!

kau ambil, kau guna, material, tenaga, masa, wang.
masih lagi kau yang paling tidak berdosa?

tolong bukan bermakna menghambakan.
masalah kau ialah kau tak sedar bukan kau seorang sahaja yang ada masalah.

usah gusar
aku masih ingat kebaikan kau.
lebih banyak dari keburukan.

alhamdulillah.
masih lagi dikurniakanNya mereka yang betul-betul mahu menangis dan bersusah bersama.

- E N D -

Friday, January 11, 2013

fotografi sampah

gambar. fotografi. apa itu?

indahnya zaman dahulu. kamera medium kita merakam memori. 'membekukan' waktu indah untuk dikenang.

kini? gambar kebanyakannya sampah. apa itu?

zaman dahulu.
bila ditanya 'apa kita buat sebelum makan?'
jawapan pasti,
'baca doa makan' atau 'cuci tangan sebelum makan'

sekarang.
'apa kita buat sebelum makan?'
jawapan majoriti,
'instagram/tweet/publish dulu gambar makanan'

mat saleh kata 'asian' saja ada perangai tu

sedari kecil sudah sibuk pegang SLR.
walhal.
SLR pon mungkin tak tahu apa maknanya.
oh, sekarang orang pakai DSLR.
lens berkoyan..tapi masih lagi guna set auto.
ambil semua.
buang ke laut dalam semuanya.

masih wujudkah manusia yang mencipta telefon tidak berkamera?
setiap saat tidak pernah lepas dirakam.
untuk dikenang atau untuk dicanang?

belum lagi kisah di tanah perkuburan.
aku tetap rasa sangat tidak wajar untuk tangkap gambar di tanah perkuburan sewaktu pengebumian sedang dijalankan.

ingat. bila aku mati, tolong jangan 'rakam' majlis pengebumian aku.

hormat. bukan memori itu yang patut kau simpan!

canang : aku dah sampai mt.barrow. tempat kejadian hampir mati.

- E N D -

Wednesday, January 9, 2013

Reach higher kunang!!

Kisah di farm blueberry

That's what I've been hearing for these past few days...kunang this..kunang that...padahal lepas dia cakap gua berdiri tempat sama sambil respond..owh..ok..alright..i'll do it straight away..hobi bos..petik buah bersama pekerja...atau pon buat pekerja rasa di usha sepanjang masa...kalau member aku memang aku siku siku dah..sibuk nak nyelit2 kat situ jugak...

Belum lagi kisah bos panggil gua nora... T_T mana datang pon gua tatau...dia mana kenal nora..orang yang knal nora je kadang kadang tu silap panggil gua nora...tapi gua layan je bila dia panggil gua nora...dah biasa dah orang panggil gua nora...hahaha..

Wahai mulut ku yang longkang..tolong la jangan laju sangat mulut tu nak menjawab...dia bos...a good one in fact...

Mari positive..dia rasa gua pemetik buah yang baik lettew asyik2 panggil..hahahah...

Eh..entah entah dia classmate nora..tu sebab nampak familiar je...muahahaha...

Sunday, January 6, 2013

xbox..ielts..job searching..talking crap..

That's what I've been doing lately...main game sampai rasa nak muntah...dengar qil belajar for her ielts...am forced to converse in english so qil can practice her english...talking crap all the time..job hunting like there's no tomorrow..baca buku pon rasa nak muntah dah...what else??

Tengah confuse aku ni homesick ke tak..haha..tapi rasanya tak..confirm!

E N D

Friday, January 4, 2013

Mainstream vs ....

Nama paling banyak dalam hidup...
Sarah..aisyah..aqilah..siti..puteri..adam..syafiq..amir..asyraf..

Apa lagi ntah..

Nama nama ni..kalo setakat kenalkan diri..or tulis note..mmg aku tak boleh nak teka sape...sarah and adam for example..ada brape juta?? Dah bape kali silap..yang melayu di mat salehkan..yang mat saleh di melayu kan...

Mungkin patut knalkan diri..saya sarah tingtong...or I'm adam dongdang...

Salah orang sangat tak klaka hoccay..sangat tak klaka...nasib baik nama sendiri pon ada sejuta..boleh detect..panggilan sekian2, kawan sekian2 je yg guna...

Hi..im kunang!

mainstream habis!!

E N D

Wednesday, January 2, 2013

FRIENDS

its 2013..yeah..i do feel old...started my new year with watching les miserables...Raja's treat...

let's randomly reminiscing and talk about people...

i cant recall if i ever write an entry about how i consider people as friend and acquaintance...well..the reason i write this entry is due to the facebook timeline and twitter..owh..and also blog...i never knew that i had somehow gave a big impact towards someone's life that they mentioned me as one of good things that happened to them in 2012... honestly..some of them are long lost friend...a friend that i haven't talk or meet after 10 years..and to have my name mentioned in their status...it just wow...

so many things had happened in 2012..the good and the bad one..i've experienced the best moment being the best and the worst being the worst..and until today...besides my family..i know i still have others that i can always count on...someone that will appreciate me and accept me for who i am..people who can stand my randomness and craziness..friends that i know..when they are not around..i'll be dead bored because i can't say or do silly things...they who know when i needed a space...they who never fail to come back even after i blocked them from my life...they who want me in their memory...they who want me to be in the conversations... they who had sacrifice their money and time for me..they who remember every single detail about my interest and about me..they who would always there to accompany me when i m so afraid that im so gonna be alone to face the world..they who want me to be their travel buddy..they who are willing to listen to all my 'bebelan'..they who had inspired me..they who had shown that they care...they who never failed to give good advice..they who never fail to tell me to stay strong because everything would be fine soon...they who considered my problem as theirs..and so the list goes..banyak sangat tak termention semua...

seriously...my life wouldn't be better without all of you in my life..time tulis ni sedikit sebak mengenangkan all the good things that had happen..He sent me all of you to make sure i stand still..

sebenarnya aku yang kadang-kadang tak sedar sebenarnya aku masih ada someone to turn to..

i don't know how many hearts have i touched.. but i know you've touched mine.

thank you korang!!
ingat cakap aku ni selalu...rapat tak bermakna bestfriend...rarely talk to each other bukan bermakna kita hanya acquaintance. tak kisah la korang come and go ke..aku yang come and go ke..setiap random kindness itu sangat sweet hoccay! hanya Allah yang mampu membalas jasa korang..

- E N D -