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Sunday, May 27, 2012

my new resolution : to have time for everything

self remind! so avoid it if you're looking for a gossip..~ ha!

i cannot tell how i feel so blessed at this moment..despite of all my hectic life... He know what i need.. a motivation...

so..i am the kind of person who will keep complaining about everything...i am that 'whining is my hobby' type of person...astaghfirullahala'zim... *shame*

so..i've been into some conversation and discussion yesterday and today...the intellectual and the so not intellectual ... and what i got after both days... i want to say i promise myself..but i am too afraid that i might break the promise..so...i'll use 'try hard'...i will try hard to have time for everything...there's no such thing 'takmo ah...banyak keje..' reason...seriously...it is so lame..i found it lame...because usually...it just that..i just don't want to go or do something just because i don't want to do it..not because i really have something else to do...yeah...i always have something to do..but..apelah sangat sejam tu...berangan 40 minit..buat keje belum tentu 20 minit...

i'll make sure i have time for Him..bukan rushing2...have time to do work..bukan tak tido malam sebab bekerja...jaga diri sepatutnya...balance time for serious matter and not serious...and always ingat...hidup dalam dunia bukan pasal diri sendiri je pon...~ if you want people to appreciate you..you first need to know how to appreciate others..(ok..this one is super tricky...*wink* i appreciate everyon...but when i think people will get things differently...i might act like i am taking for granted about everything..yeah..you know what i mean...after all...i always feel grateful to know everyone that i know and used to know...respect me just like how you want to be respected...or how you want others to respect your female family members...you are definitely one of my favourite person...) to learn and learn and learn...i haven't read that much this year...yup...lack of motivation... and less time for Him maybe? so..to make sure He is always with me is to remember Him as much as i would like to be remembered... inshaAllah...

so...starting from today... i will try my best to have time for everything that will bring me hapiness, joy and barakah... inshaAllah...

*masa takkan pernah cukup...mende takkan jadi baik kalau kita asyik rasa semua mende tak baik! so..kita ubah! (version org umno perak cakap tu..hahaha...)

- E N D -

Tuesday, May 22, 2012

campur baur

symptom hujung sem

seme orang stress
tak pasal pasal stress
aku pon tak paham kenapa aku stress
tapi stress la
hish.
stress.

- E N D -

Sunday, May 20, 2012

= )

i went for usrah today...alhamdulillah...more people were coming ...not only malaysian...more people from other country were coming this evening to join the discussion...and there's one new sister who just converted to Islam..to listen to her, saying her first shahadah...sayu sangat...

so...dah ada byk nationality join..makin banyak laaa kanak-kanak...sampai2 je disambut dek budak ni...she's fidasa..i dont know if i spelled her name right...tapi seriously..lovely sungguh budak ni...jenis pandai amik hati gitu..her mom is a japanese..and her dad is a local here lived in sheffield.. both are muslim..mak dia siap pakai tudung...(kagum gila! kurang comel sikit je dari hana tajima mak dia...loud and intelligent too) actually ramai lagi budak2 lain yg comel...tapi seme dok lari sana sini...seme comel gila yg seriously comel gila...haih...

so..why i find her the cutest among all today?
sebab dia asyik datang kat aku...hahaha..tu jeee...orang lain hulur tangan beria pon...ye...dia datang kat ai jugak...(cair...) 






- E N D -

Saturday, May 19, 2012

bluwek!

this is the stage where i feel like puking...i am not sure what i had in mind...i mean...i am thinking...it just that...i am not quite sure with what i've thought or about to think?

and this is the stage where i am completely feels sorry for myself for taking this course and not living a normal life...

yup...i am not living a normal life...

i am living an architecture student life....not normal...NOT!

i am abnormal...i live an abnormal life.. T_T

or nak sedapkan hati.... i am different...i am unique... (muntah warna warni...sebab warna hijau tak cukup disgusting?)

i think in my sleep...i dream of my design or whatever research i'm currently doing WHEN I SLEEP... i think about my design when i'm eating...when i had my shower...when i'm cycling... when i'm driving...when i'm talking to someone else about something else....and even worse...during solat...(obviously tak khusyuk.. T__T)

so..technically... i think about design all the time...but regardless of all the time i've spent thinking about it..i still don't have any solution for all the problems...

architect we look for problems and solve it... (supposedly...we are suppose to make world a better place to live on) what if i choose not to look for any problem thus i dont have to solve any?

benci ah!

usaha, doa, tawakal kata mereka... tapi bila waktu untuk Dia pon takley nak focus...jangan nak buat2 heran takleh focus time buat keje...!

- E N D -

Friday, May 18, 2012

Failure

Bukan ini rasa yang diharap...
Kecewa... Frust... Morally down...

Moga next time akan fantastic!

Sekian drama hari ini.

- E N D -
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neighbour





















camera tak bawak...tempat menarik..terima kasih kepada yang mencipta telefon bimbit berkamera!


- E N D -

Thursday, May 17, 2012

crazy??yeah...we call ourselves artist...

the only thing that made my day was when i had this little conversation with a 'pakcik' about volunteering to help the kids who suffer with apentah....so..i think this pakcik really enjoy talking to me...nampak la kegembiraan dia terpancar2..and aku pon happy je sembang ngn dia...he's more to an atuk anyway... so he asked my name...

4 times i told him my name...and it seem so hard for him to get it...and finally i decided to let him call me anna...(ha! my english name...euw...)

"so, you're french?"

*silent*

i reckon this pakcik need a better glasses...but..enough to make my day brighter and happier...finally...i am no longer an asian...when i say asian...i mean...those with small eyes...(racist gila..)

i lap yu pakcik!

- E N D -

Tuesday, May 15, 2012

everyone seems "normal" until you get to know them

it's freaking cold...like...hell cold...
this weather has somehow slow down my work productivity... Geoff's image in mind no longer make me speed up...ha! (actually, his image only gave me panic attack...seriously..!)

it's weird how i am missing people these days...it's been super random...aisyah(how i wish you're here)...my ex-housemates in shah alam...my studiomates back in uitm...the family member for sure...strangers i've met before...(this must be hormone.. eh?)

well...my housemate said she are half dead doing all the assignment tasks...and i said...i almost die... and i dont don't know whether will be able to stay alive until submission date... while writing that boring essay (i mean my thesis)... i kinda miss matt all the time..haha....betapa kata2 dia memberi impact dalam hidup...haha...

some of the friends, they asked me...wondering why i changed the ADR group at the first place...believing that i'll work very well with helen and matt...my my...Helen is that type of person who'll shout whenever she feels like to...i cant stand that...and matt..he's too emotional and definly not easy to deal with...he loves what i wrote..he loves to hear what i'm about to say..(and patiently wait for me to finish talking...oke..geoff pon camtu jerrr....).i dont have to look for the attention as i knew i'll get the attention....but, he is the last person i would like to argue with...enough with what happen last year...and what will happen next sem...he kinda scared me quite enough...

oke..tetiba matt keluar...yes...we talked about him just now...and these friends of mine..they kinda know how we both can somehow finish each other's sentence...scary ha? (mampus aku kna simbah acid dgn poppy..haha...) i didn't know that it had been that obvious until they told me just now...so..maybe i should be a philosopher? (yes, i should!)

so..being a philosopher is my next to do list...NOT!

nak muntah dah blajo!

matt..matt...tetiba je naik nama rini..haih...
- E N D -

Sunday, May 13, 2012

uncontrollable

that's me....

not the type that you could control or demand something
i hate people asking me to do something that i don't want to do
i refuse to do stuff i don't want to do
i rarely do that 'just give it a go' stuff

when you questioned my action
it's obvious you know nothing about me at all

i could be be the sweetest person you ever knew
and your worst nightmare at the same time

i am very good at 'blending in' the crowd
i am very honest all the time (you know what i mean...i don't really into comforting people for no reason...)
i know i annoyed people easily just as how easy i got annoyed with people
my anger goes away as fast as it comes
i hate and love everything at the same time
forgiving is as easy as ABC to me

i love heels just like other girls on earth
i could walk and run like a man in it
just like how i did when i'm with converse
when i said heels...i mean high heels...that hell super high heels

i am that freaky psychic
seriously!
you gonna believe it because you have no idea how much i've been through

so, if you don't want to be treated like other typical person i knew in my life... stop typically treat me like other typical person in your life... because i promise you... i'll make sure, we'll hate each other from the core...

*however, i always hope i am the best thing ever happened in someone's life.

- E N D -

Friday, May 11, 2012

semua itu dari-Nya

rasa
yang baik dan yang tidak itu dari-Nya
sebabnya pasti ada
sabar itu belum tentu
siapa kita untuk berputus asa

khabar
gembira dan duka adalah tetapan dari-Nya
rancangan-Nya
terima.

usaha. doa. tawakal.
yang paling penting...SABAR.

- E N D -

Wednesday, May 9, 2012

panic attack i guess...again?

i should be doing the project brief...or in other way of saying it...patutnya macam bajet2 BERTUNGKUS LUMUS buat project brief..

but seriously...the more i think about it..i am becoming more confuse and sick...so..there's so many issue...so many thing to give a thought...geoff's face is still fresh in mind..when he said, the site could be tricky..rasa cam nak lari dok kat penjuru bilik nangis senyap senyap(dengan muka bajet bajet comel dia tu..T__T) so now, who should i shift the blame to? (takmo menanggung rasa sengsara sorang2..haha..layak dilempang muka sendiri camni...)

the original idea was malaysia art museum and design education center...then it 'transform' to be school of art...and now..after studying issues and logics...there's no way of me having only school of art in the golden triangle and have it at a very strategic location in kuala lumpur *slap forehead*

so..terkulat kulat cakap ngan abg jep...lepas tu...he addressed one issue after another...walaupon sweet tindakan dia nak membantu dengan bersungguh sungguh...hati, jantung, otak dan seluruh anggota terus jadi kacau bila memikirkan ke-tricky-an building program and site... T___T

so...it is now a mixed used building... =O *mampus*

i've been thinking real hard these past few hours..why the hell i chose to do art thingy at the first place... why kunang? why?

thank God (alhamdulillah) the result for ADR is not bad at all...(baru nak bagi?? dah nak abeh sem dah kot!!!) oke arrr..boleh aaa buat2 mengubat hati lara...
-__-

now..i am at the stage of doubting at my own skill and way of thinking...maybe i haven't critically think about this project yet... idea di otak kacau bilau...takpe2...yang penting ada idea...teringat2 muka shy how (classmate) when he said...'i thought when when we are deciding what we want to do on our own..it would be easier...' blom sempat habes dia cakap...laju je aku sambung..'and now we finally know that it ain't easy at all eh?' lepas tu mula la conversation merepek2 seperti...how we wish this torturing life could end real soon... *sedih*

baru bajet-bajet berangan nak kawen dato ke, tan sri ke, so i boleh kikis duit mereka and tak payah serabut sibuk nak jadi architect, redah panas, gadoh kat site, maki dan dimaki, T__T wajah abg jep masuk dalam kepala.

'we solve problem, not running away from it' -Geoff

gulp. sentap.

*Geoff sweet abes rini. Nampak nye la dia nak tolong student. while aku sibuk sibuk wonder why he's not married. Respon Zul : "mana ko tahu? ntah ntah dia janda anak dua "

!#$%(*)^#

- E N D -

Tuesday, May 8, 2012

i don't even know that the feeling is still there

benci pada diri sendiri?
bukan semua, sebahagian.
yang suka bertindak bukan bukan.
yang sentap berkoyan koyan.
yang kecil hati berpanjangan.
bosan.

i've tried real hard not to show the hatred. i did. i do.
and i've tried real hard to forgive. i thought i did.

- E N D -

Monday, May 7, 2012

the same problems, the same feeling

its pretty obvious that i am that kind of whining lady...i whine when i less serious about something and say nothing when i am serious about it...but most of the time...i complain about everything.. -__-'

astaghfirullahalazim

so..seriously...i hate this feelings...penat dah nak berkecil hati...penat dah nak rasa sedih..penat dah nak meluat...penat dah nak jadi the tough one....penat dah nak jadi tempat orang datang bila ada masalah je...penat dah nak jadi sepah...(habis madu sepah dibuang? i dont want to be madu either)...penat dah nak rasa rasa macam macam yang tak perlu...kalau otak tak cukup rational...tak reti reti ingat dosa dosa lampau... memang ada yang meletup...penat dah dengan ayat ayat typical judging manusia....

i've said it before...

judging itu bangang...and i meant it..and still mean it until now...

at this very moment...i need all the strength in the world to stay strong and positive...(see? i talk like im the one who had the biggest probs on earth...selfish kau ni!) sebulan lagi...lepas tu boleh muntah hijau ke, pelangi ke...ikut suka...

i'll try my best not to be the people i hate...it won't make me a better person tho..but at least..i m aware about the mistakes and takmo orang lain sentap macam haku jugak!

*stay cool je boleh tak kunang???

- E N D -

Saturday, May 5, 2012

penat aaa sentap

bukan semua yang jahat akan remain jahat...yang baik akan remain baik...

yang nampak putih belum tentu suci
yang nampak hitam belum tentu keji

bila kau mengharap hak orang tapi bakhil hak sendiri
bawak bawak la beringat
semua ini dari Nya jua

kalau harta tak luak bila dizakatkan mahu pon disedekahkan
ilmu takkan hilang kalau dikongsi bersama

sampah!

*meluat. penat. jengkel.

- E N D -

Friday, May 4, 2012

when happy feeling comes together with the sad feeling, i feel weird

oke...sepatutnya bajet2 bertungkus lumus buat keje kat lebri..tapi end up pegi learning hub...lepas tu ada ape ni kat hub? nape org cafe datang tolak trolley makanan? bau coffee satu hub ni haaaa...hadoi..terus rasa nak gi gloria dan dan ni jugak..haih...stress!

so...lately ni mmg dok bajet gi hub or lebri..sbb dok umah pasti tidur or procrastinate..walaupon fact sebenar..dok mana2 pon procrastinate je...

actually sedih...bajet2 sentap..sebab my travel buddy udah mahu kawen dis november... sedikit terkilan sbb tak sempat nak gi mana2 together last break...ai bz u'olls...so..lepas ni...might need to find a new travel buddy...or parents aku kna benarkan aku jd traveller tegar sorang2..(hamboih)...

i'm super happy for you Ana...sorry tak dpt attend wedding ko...sorry tak dpt jadi one of the maids...tapi..aku mmg tak seswai jadi maid..unless kita sama tinggi..hauhauha....tapi seriously i sedih you kawen...huahuahua...

hari ni aku sama busy ngn housemate yg memang nya ada class kol 9...aku bersiap lagi over awal dari dorang...apakah ini?

tapi hari ni seronok sket sbb tak bape sejuk..so pakai hoodies dah cukup...tp now menyesal sket2...sbb terasa sejuk tak pasal2 kat hub ni...

otak serabut siyes tak tipu..macam2 dalam otak ni...smpai rasa mcm nak delete satu2 cerita2 tak best  yg menyerabutkan otak...

baru nak feeling2 tenang...datang plak mat arab mana ntah approach...so..ai kan 'friendly'...aku pon tak paham motif..tapi mungkin muka aku menunjukkan muka mintak pelempang secara melampau...maka dia terpaksa ckp dia silap org...walaupon secara logicnya..tak...dia mmg tak silap org...takde sape dah yg serupa mcm aku...duuuhhh...aku dah aaa mmg tak friendly...ditambah pula dgn soklan 'you're from china?'...mmg la haku rasa nak hamuk...untuk keberapa kali dalam hidup ni...aku rasa nak announce aku bukan china ke..jepun ke...hape ke...mongo ke...BUKAN!!! grrrr...


betapa lama nya dia dok depan aku smpai terhasilnya gamba ni...ni muka tgh 'bajet friendly'...dia dok cakp2 tanya2 hape ntah...aku dah buat mcm2 kat compuetr ni haaa...nak dok semeja dok je aaa...actually tetiba terpikir nak bukak webcam sbb terpikir ntah cane muka haku kan...sbb sedikit annoyed laaa kan...oke...aku berotak typical sket bab2 arab ni...maybe sbb asyik terjumpa yg poyo...*slapforehead 

oke...bad feelings...hunch pon tak best...aaaa...scary laaaa...benci...

- E N D -