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Monday, October 31, 2011

a lil' reminder for me...

quoted from a friend's status on FB...


mengecilkan hati orang adalah berdosa, berkecil hati juga adalah berdosa. Tetapi lebih besar dosanya jika kita berkecil hati ~✿ ~> I’m so confused <~ (=.=)' Kenapa orang kecilkan hati kita, kita pulak yang berdosa ?? Then I asked my dad what’s that mean. Ayah: Jika seseorang hina kita, dia berdosa. Jika kita terasa hati dgn penghinaan dia, kita juga berdosa. Tetapi dosa kita lebih besar dari dosad...ia. Anak: Uiikk... Tapi kenapa pulak? Kita tak buat apa-apa pun? Ayah: Kerana orang yang menghina kita itu adalah peringatan daripada Allah. Anak: *blur (>,<)' Ayah: Kenapa kita dihina oleh orang tu? Kerana itu adalah ujian dari Allah. Kenapa Allah hadiahkan kita ujian itu? Kerana DIA nak mengingatkan diri kita yang dah leka dengan dunia. Bila kita berkecil hati dengan orang tersebut, bermakna kita tak redha dengan ujian yang Allah turunkan. Kesimpulannya, kita bukan kecil hati dengan orang, tapi kecil hati dengan Allah. Anak: Ooooooo... Ook...(n_n)' Ayah: Lagi parah bila kita pun cerita pada kawan-kawan kita. “Dia dah banyak buat aku macam ni, macam tu…” dan sebagainya. Dan kawan-kawan kita pula akan cerita pada kawan-kawan lain. “Kesian kawan kita tu.. budak tu dah banyak sakitkan hati dia…” jadi keredhaan kita terhadap ujian Allah itu akan lesap. Anak: *termakan cili . hee (",)' ♥~ So, the conclusion is...Jangan mudah terasa hati... ♥~ Maknanya kita tak redha dengan Allah... ♥~ Nanti Allah pun tak redha dengan kita...Na’uzubillah... ~♥> "Sebenarnya, setiap kali orang memuji kamu...Seharusnya kamu rasa malu. Ucaplah astaghfirullah al-azim kerana orang memuji kamu disebabkan Allah S.W.T telah menutup aib dan kelemahan kamu." Astaghfirullah al-azim

i don't want to be neither...because both of em pon keji...why do the same thing while you can choose not to be one?

dear Allah, lead me to the right path...and dear friends...do remind me...when either situation happen...pls remind me that i've been doing the wrong thing..

saya manusia biasa...masih boleh berfikir...dan masih tersasar bila berfikir...

**a good friend is a friend who let his/her friend know that they've been doing a wrong thing, rather than talking bad thing behind their back...(yep..i  do talk bad thing about people, but i try my best not to talk about my friend)
***agak terkilan bila ada kawan yang lambat menyedarkan dan berkata kasar di kemudian hari...

- E N D -

Thursday, October 27, 2011

He closed the door..but not the window...

it's been a long week tho...i've been struggling with all the final tasks....BTD(building technology design), Design and DRM(design research method).

and i've just submitted the DRM task yesterday...and it's late submission..yeah..but practically..the lecturer said wednesday...i did submit it on wednesday...it just that...erkk...wednesday night? hahahha...

so..enough about the assignment..let's talk about the surrounding...i have friend who is facing her hard time dealing with 'the thing' from other world...and it is super sad to see her in that condition...she is the best student here...and to see her in that condition make me super sad...

and while she had been the 'hot topic' here...there's a bunch of friends who are still struggling with their final year submission...may Allah bless you guys and may all your good deeds paid by him through the presentation....

what had happened lately had somehow make me realize that we should help and care about each other a lot...fear is something that we choose to feel...there's always ways to overcome it...love each other...time management is everything...never selfish...and Allah is everything...when he said  NO..then it is a NO...so...have faith...believe in Allah...love each other..and let yourself be loved...

loving is one of the way we show our appreciation to Allah...and it sometimes shown by an honest  act....

so..here...i would like to wish to you guys all the best for final year presentation....
Aisyah Mokhtar
Nik Aziz
Abdul Azim
and others who are having the presentation as well

to Nisha and Azizul...you guys rock just now....hope that they'll give you a good grade tho...

to Maryam Pauzi...i really hope you'll be okay...you are strong and i know you're fighting...keep on fighting dear friend...our do'a are always with you...

to kak sal..good luck in the operation theater....you are strong! i am like seriously shocked to hear the news...

hope all the bad news will end with a happy ending..insyaAllah...

- E N D -

Friday, October 21, 2011

men : when they are good looking and nice..

this gay fever hits back when i watched this vid the other day on FB :
they made this vid for archifest movie competition...some of them are my ex-studiomate...and FYI everyone in this vid is straight!

i used to have this typical perspective about man....man usually come in either..never both...when they come in both package GOOD LOOKING + NICE...he must be a gay...it had been quite long i  haven't felt that way until i came to aussie to further my study..yup2...it's happening again...australian man who are good looking usually rude..poyo..racist lebeh...and the one that being nice harus lah yg muka biasa2 je...or hippies...even hippies pon tak semua nice..normal la kan...dlm setandan pisang ada la satu dua yg slack sket...so..there's one guy we called gayah..we have to...takut dia tahu...because we have two person with the same name and we decide to call him *** gay...which i think is rude sebenarnye...rupa dia biasa2 saja..but with his carrier now as a trainer at the gym and all that..being stylo all the time..(his version of stylo is more towards athletic style)... he's really nice and polite...smiling all the time...friendly..like seriously...really friendly...and yup..i do sound exaggerate...but here....a typical aussie(from what i observe)...other than the lecturer or he worked as a salesman ...they prefer not to talk to us...AT ALL...like we the asian had somekind of decease that might infect them....ha...

and this evening, while im wrapping up my artefact stuff...tetiba ade satu makhluk indah lalu...and i was like...kacaknye lelaki ini...and he said hello with a smile...gugur sat jantung...(over)..the thing is..this handsome man looked familiar...penat jugak pikir about where did i see him before?? pelakon kah dia? modelkah? student sini ke?mcm tak pnah nmpak.. pikir2...baru teringat...BF si  gayah tadi... (pnah tgh kat FB )kecewa..   T_T.. .patut pon nice and handsome...he's  gay... so time dia lalu depan ai ...jatuh2 plak barang dia angkat  kan...(yes..this is the time)...YOU NEED HELP? (lempang diri sendiri laju2)..smbil gelak2.."noooo..its okay...i think it's a lot easier to be held without the clothes on..yeah you know what i mean.."(and lepas tu dia buat muka awkward)..owh ye...mereka sedang mengangkat patung2 mannequin...mcm2 ghope dia pakaikan patung tu...pakai tudung pon ade...

oke la...motif aku tulis...sbb teruja melihat keindahan ciptaan Allah..huahua...

and nk menyatakan betapa stereotype nya aku...when he's nice and handsome.. he is either taken...or gay..T_T...what a waste...

- E N D -

Saturday, October 15, 2011

working drawing is a piece of art - Peter Zumthor

quoted back from Zumthor in his book Thinking Architecture, he demanded each architect to be able to draw detail by themselves so we would be able to completely understand our building...reading his book is so inspiring..and his way of treating material and be true to the design shows the truth of being true.

Mat was the first one who  discover my interest i must say(when i dont have idea about it). i start to understand what he meant after reading all his notes in my assignment. later came catriona and ceridwen... now i  understand why i like geoffrey bawa...and why mat think i must love Peter Zumthor and Herzog and de Meuron. They have seen the potential in me..and it's time for me to make it become real and bring out all the quality. I still having a problem in producing a working dwg..i still confuse with all the jointing and the materials..and still confuse why i should pay more attention on the north side...i still don't see working dwg as a piece of art..although Zumthor did mention that working dwg is the preliminary stage to have others experience our  imagination. have to agree with him.

thinking of his words make all the the stress go away somehow...let's create the artwork!

- E N D -

Friday, October 14, 2011

bye bye cadbury..hello coles milk chocolate

today everyone have exhibit their artifact...and mine was like...erkkk...

that's the artifact...i might have the ugliest artifact ever...but i hope i'd make a good exegesis out of it...i'll try my best not to get too irony nor too poetic..or maybe too pathetic....hopefully it would be just nice to be read and understood...

alhamdulillah..the artifact thingy had been over...now what worries me are all the final task for BTD, DS8, and exegesis which my lecturer said they are really looking forward to read mine...that's scary...so..today...some of us need to present our artifact...briefly present i must say...why mine need people interaction and bla...bla..bla...i didn't plan to go and explain..but suddenly there's a rush from the friends who ask me to sell out my idea...so..i went straight away...talking in front of nearly 80 people...in a lecturer theater..using mic...and unplan..!! when i finish talking...there's a relieve somehow..and alhamdulillah...i did not feel nervous..at all...like seriously? that is something that i never imagine would happen here..NOT BEING NERVOUS WHILE TALKING IN FRONT THE CROWD!!! 

a big wow to myself...and thanks Allah for making it possible for me...terasa macam present di uitm gitu tanpa peduli kalau salah present..hahaha...

and after have a look at almost everyone's artifact, we (aisyah, azizul, & hafiz) went straight away to coles to buy some groceries... and i bought a lot of chocolate!!! hmmph.. (",) it's been quite some time since the last time i could remember eating any...or buying any..i mean...chocolate...sangat happy kerana beli chocolate... perasaan happy seperti baru lepas membeli buku..huhu...and coles milk chocolate sangat sedap!!dan murah..taste even better than cadbury..and half the price compared to cadbury...

i hope i would be able to finish all the task with flying colours...all of them are 50% task...and my grade going to depend on these tasks...

pray for me...i need all the luck in the world..and most important all the bless from Allah...may He be with me all the time...may He gives me the ability to express all my idea...and the ability to explain my idea fluently in front of the crowd...insyaAllah...

to all who are struggling.. GOOD LUCK!! mari berjuang...!!!

- E N D -

Thursday, October 13, 2011

bosan dengan yang menilai membabi buta

dah biasa
tapi masih terasa

kalau sendiri-sendiri nak rasa tak apa
tak perlu menyebar cerita
kau kenal sangat ke aku siapa?

sejak bila harta aku harta kau juga?
owh bukan ke ya?
dah kenapa kau sibuk nak jaga?

*sangat kurang ajar untuk memiskinkan atau meng'kaya'kan orang...i am seriously annoyed
**aku anggap itu biadap...nilai persahabatan hilang 99%...maaf...ada caranya untuk bercakap...

- E N D -

Wednesday, October 12, 2011

hari hari akhir yang bakal tiba

takut, gentar, resah, gelisah, panik, rasa nak muntah,
itu semua tanda semester dah hampir ke penghujung
namun bukan semester yang salah
masa juga tidak salah
yang salah pastilah pengguna masa
yang tak reti-reti bahasa
bukan bertangguh, cuma idea tak tiba-tiba
yang tak perlu idea tak tahu nak buat pula
harap-harap tidak gila...

**mengharap semua keajaiban berada dengan diri ini

- E N D -

Monday, October 10, 2011

semua itu dariNya jua

setelah berminggu-minggu berhempas pulas untuk proposal DRM...akhirnya...yang ke-5 baru approved... it's all from Him...to Him i asked for help, and from Him i got all the inspiration.. the final result is still mystery...but i hope it turn up well...

lega nya rasa hati..memang Allah saja yang tahu....2 weeks left...hope that all His blessings are with me...the miracles are always around...dan semuanya siap on time.

**doakan saya dengan artefact sy...risau sebenarnya dengan reaksi masyarakat dengan kitab suci Al-quran yang bakal dikongsi bersama...

- E N D -

Saturday, October 8, 2011

pesanan hari ini

bapak bilang :
tak mengapa upset
jangan sampai mereka turut upset

kawan bilang :
bila kau marah
kau hilang kawalan
kau tak tahu siapa yang kau sakiti bila kau marah

okey... 2 kali pesanan dariNya melalui mereka...
alhamdulillah...
ketuk kepala..fikir-fikirkan...





**perlu mencari rentak yang hilang..mungkinkan aku tidak 'pure' seperti dahulu lagi?
- ya..aku lebih banyak terpengaruh dan tanpa sedar memudarkan kebolehan diri sendiri...
bila aku tak sedar, aku perlu dimensi lain untuk menyedarkan aku...
sedarkan aku!

- E N D -

Friday, October 7, 2011

minggu-minggu kritikal

sedang dalam keadaan kritikal...super kritikal..time-time di mana aku pikir..nape la aku tak abeskan je kat uitm dulu..napelah tak kawen je awal2...sibuknya aku nak kejar carrier yang belum tentu ni...astaghfirullahhala'zim...

penyesalan adalah berdosa...!!!

TAPI...

dalam sibuk2 and kritikal...semalam sempat lagi tidur panjang...selamba gila buat keputusan tidur super awal semalam...haih...bangun pening...good decision kunang!!!

so...nothing seems possible now until it's done! so...doakan saya yang terkapai2 di sini..doa anda2 lah yg telah mempossiblekan segala yg saya fikirkan impossible..

yesterday there's a friend of mine wrote a blog about me...super terharu...i wish i can be there for you...like seriously...don't worry babe..everything is going to be fine....menggelupur je dulu sekarang....

kepada yang lain2...be happy...be strong...love and be loved...

**mari berhempas pulas!!

- E N D -

Sunday, October 2, 2011

bosan

mende merepek yang aku buat hari ni....grrr.....


so...lately ni hati gua dah kembali menjadi daun2 kering....kejap2 je pon nak jadi batu nye...perasaan nye sama macam masa tulis blog kat friendster dulu2...hahahaha...perasaan bercampur baur...semua ada positive, negative, lalang, pagar...semua ah.....tp mcm biasa la....sure arr tak pnah tewas bab2 mencuba menjadi positive...bila baru nak positif...haruslah ade kejadian2 pelik terjadi yg memusnahkan rasa2 positive tu...so malas nak pikir panjang..gua pon reka2 situasi dlm kepala sesuka hati.....so malas nak buat entry bajet2 bahagia mahupon bajet2 bagus macam orang2 lain...gua mengaku la memang gua tgh stress and sememangnya tak berapa bagus...kalo baca2 balik entry2 sendiri..memang la hujung2 sem byk gila entry ke arah susur jalur kegelapan..hahahha...

bahaya bahaya...

tidak dinafikan gua memang cepat annoyed...tapi gua juga cepat sejuk hati sejajar dengan kecepatan panas hati ini..aicheh...

so jadi..hopefully...cas-cas negative yang tak diperlukan ni cepat2 pergi... semoga ilham2 bernas dikurniakan Allah hendaknya...dan perasaan2 pelik tidak muncul dalam diri...

*sometimes, the less i know the better.
**alhamdulillah...email direply...lega dah anta proposal baru tapi tetap stress tak paham ape kejadahnye semua ini? benarlah firasat awal...once you hit it right...HD terus...masalah nya...ini semua masih lagi percaturan...sikit sgt manusia yg hit it right...mcm aku yg ter-hit ni ape kes?



- E N D -

Saturday, October 1, 2011

the time has finally come

yup...you always know it when you're in trouble...

so...i am not really in that big trouble...owh...i am actually...as architecture had changed my life completely...and i let it change my life...now i realize i hate it that i had it as part of my life...yup...i've been a bit emotional this few days..not because the mood swing or whatever you called it as hormone imbalance or whatever..it is more to that i can't take it anymore...maybe because it is almost end of the semester and all of my final tasks gonna risk me that bloody 50%...and i screwed up in one of em recently..and there might be another one which is BTD...and i can't help feeling super anxious...i am panic...i let my parents know that i am panic (which now i'm regretting it..to let them know and make them panic for me too...suck!!)

i am in a critical stage...where i don't know what i don't know...and i also don't know what i know....it's a bit sad...because in 2 weeks time i have to submit this stupid artefact+exegesis which i still don't know what the hell the lecturers want from me...or to be exact...this Matthew Hinds wants? (if you search your name name through the net Mat..i am sorry...but i really feel whatever i am trying to do now is to please you! this thing is suppose to be about me...ME!!!!)..i am getting tired with all those racist reaction here...(stop denying that you're racist...or saying stuff like we make ourselves feel discriminated...think logic..who on earth want that? i don't feel it..i realize it...especially with that body language..yeah you're not racist..you wish!) i am getting all messed up with daily life too...and like seriously..I am tired about everything... everyone now is busy with their life...busy saving their own ass in this few weeks that left...and me here... suddenly left in a deep depression...aha!

i am lost..need help...and sorry...there's no really help left...there's only hope...

so, why bother?

*now that i am so sure what is actually what..who is actually who...

- E N D -