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Sunday, July 31, 2011

aware and beware

a short one before i dedicate my whole life for DRM..

T_T

*reminder to myself
aware and beware about stuff that should come out from your mouth...u have no idea at all how it can hurts someone else heart...and most importantly..annoyed by what you said...

i remembered Ayah(my uncle who i addressed as Ayah) mentioned about sensitivity...and today's incident taught me how by only one words or wrong approach can led us to the worst scenario...He shows me the real situation..and now i understood completely about how it feels like...

"yes...when all you need is positiveness...and what people around you kept giving you is 'negative-ness'... i dont know how long can i hold on.." quoted by Ayah

agree with you Ayah...

Thank you Allah.

- E N D -

Friday, July 29, 2011

another complaint

close this tab if you hate to read about people complaining about their life....

I WARN YOU...

its going to be the lame-est thing you'll read on earth..i can guarantee that...

so the day began...
if last night i've been complaining about how i thought the clock is ticking faster than usual...today is all about questioning how do people judge people...

so we have this discussion about all those reading that had been given...and to tell you what..the discussion SUCK!!
 its too theoretical in my point of view...its show how selfish one's can be in designing stuff without actually knowing what the client really need but 'cleverly' assume what they need..or to be exact...'helping' them determine what they need...

i just hate it when myth and science are not being considered...different place will differently apply the design that we think will work...

to be the only MUSLIM woman in the discussion never been easy...they looked at me differently...they react differently each time i say something...and they make it obvious that they think i shouldnt be in the discussion at all...

DAMN...

i finally chose not to say or argue anything since they kept discussing about 'science' stuff rather that stuff that we should really consider as in' the real situation out there'..yup..they might find their view might make me feel offended in certain way...but by discussing all those so called 'theoretical' term that you can refer in dictionary or wikipedia really make me wanna puke and annoyed...
like seriously....
annoyed!!

okay...honestly...i dont really like theory...especially when the base is all about logic and how well the article had been structured...it just so not me...i dont give a damn how well the words had been structured or how bombastic the term they have used...

no..i dont give a damn at all...

im more to expressionist...just like other female writer...i agree how they've thought designers havent been alert about the ambient that we've created but always overthink and make the DESIGN that we claim good is actually the worst rubbish we've created ever....

what make me more depressed is to know that other groups is discussing more about the culture issues and the real life issue rather than focusing stuff that had been written on paper...ha!

designers need real situation, not assuming thing, not cleverly assume that people might need this and that without researching...owh...i just cant agree in any points that had been spoke out...

so..rather than provoking everyone...i chose to do the most selfish and silliest thing in life...

KEEP SILENT  and nodding as in I agree to every single word they said....


- E N D -

Thursday, July 28, 2011

i reckon its ticking faster than usual

as everyone tweeting about Harimau Malaya vs Singapore...i still in my lost world...after about 8 hrs of not that soundless sleep..i woke up..at 12 am...

12am..


ok...panic attack begins now...

theres nothing else i could think of but catriona's list of reading that need to be read so in tomorrow's seminar i won't be as quite as a mice because im too afraid to speak out loud my thought because i m not sure about what im gonna say....

i just had my presentation this evening yesterday evening...and as usual....i hate group work...
it a so-so presentation and we had a so-so board...and as usual...i lost words while presenting..im suffering a major headache during presenting and luckily there's a wall that i can lean on while standing and present...yes..i did lean on the wall while waiting for my groupmates presenting their part...luckily i did not faint..!!

lucky ok!!

after that 'so-so' presentation...i headed home and had my meal...before i took all my medicine and finally slept for almost 8 hours...

things that i never did..tidur BERIA during daytime....  i had my blind close..i lets the room became dark and i switched on the side lamp..MEMANG MACAM MALAM...terjaga for  few times..but i didnt manage to wake up due to the headache and i  can feel my head's 'burning'... panadal dah nak masuk 'papan' yg kedua...vitamin C dah nak masuk botol yg kedua...but there's no sign for the cold to fly away and let me live happily...

T_T


sekarang...mari baca DRM...!! honestly i really feel that the clock is ticking faster than usual...and AKU SEMPUT dah ni nak mengejar MASA!!

- E N D -

Friday, July 22, 2011

i have to say this..i have to...

i shouldnt be blogging and procrastinate by now... i had other more important thing to do...but i have to write it down so i wont become gila...i almost gila i must tell you...

i almost lost control these few days... i've tried to put away all this 'shouldnt be grudge' feeling...and i've tried to stay calm and be in the most positive way i could be...but...like others...i m just another normal human being that had failed to control her anger in an appropriate way...

i lost myself, i found that i m crying no more..i cant concentrate when im doing stuff....i m not sure what to feel...i m not sure what i want to feel...i feel guilty to my parents...i feel like a complete loser...i lost all the confident in me..i dont know what should i do..i dont know what exactly i want in my life..i dont know which one to focus more on...and the most important thing is that i know that im starting to lose myself....

i m no more the person you might know having all her problems as the main motivation to stay alive... and currently im no more an always forgiver you might know...NO MORE...

please let me put all the blame on you...

the days we've been through together never been easy, i know. i salute you, i respect you and believe in you as most of the people around me keep telling me you're the best.

but, when you failed to keep your promise and have me as the "victim" seems not right to me.. you exposed the selfish side of you that i never expect exist in you and i cant believe when people said you're the best anymore. you are just like us and there's nothing that make you be or look different nor better...i m not expecting you to save my ass...but you should at least do your part while i busy saving both of our asses !!

enough about you...

given a second chance to prove that im not really that 'loser' doesnt make me feel lucky nor happy...
i wonder why me and not us?
i wonder why he chose me instead of others...
i wonder, do i really have the capability to prove that i m not 'that another complete loser' he might know??

i cannot explain the pain and the agony that i have to face right now...
looking at the face and talking through the phone with the people that dear to my heart makes me feel sadder and upset...

i need the positive charge..i need strength...i need miracle...

and above all...I need Allah to guide me through...


- E N D -

Thursday, July 21, 2011

what happen to me?

i really need to start writing in English again or else i'll completely forget what is it like writing in English...i m in the country where everyone speaks English but apparently, I found that my English has no sign of improvement but getting worse...

to be honest...i havent practice any english here..i mean in term of speaking...i speak mlalay all the time and yes...now i realize that im slowly loosing all the english words in me..T_T..

i need to speak english more often since that is the only method that worked for me so far....

**kat sini baru sedor diri tu melayu!!


- E N D -

Monday, July 18, 2011

bila patut tido tp jaga..bila patut jaga pegi tido...bila patut buat keje tapi procrastinate ....








knalkan..geoff clarke yg telah byk memberi impak yg aku sendiri kurang pasti positif atau negatif... 
namun dia sangat ku 'adore' kerana kebijaksanaan nya dan ke-'sarcastic'-an nya...

mengapa aku yg dia pilih?
patutkah aku rase 'lucky' atau aku patut rasa 'scary'??

soklan yg dia bagi mustahil boley dijawab oleh adam holsta yg bijak itu juga..atau haruskah aku tiba2 approach amor2 utk task kali ini apabila reaksi yg diberi Asians rata-rata..."why the questions are so hard?"..atau lebih menakutkan reaksi muka ditujukan ke aku yg beriak...ABEH LA KO KUNANG!!

susah tak bermakna mustahil...
tapi hari ni aku dah start meragui kekeringan hati ini...
aku yakin i m the old me...

yg perlu dibuang ialah cas-cas negatif dlm diri ni...
dan buang juga rasa takut setiap kali melihat tulisan italic di brief geoff..

belom lagi dicampur kegusaran presentasi di class catriona mcleod...bila matt merenung tajam smpai aku rasa mcm nak lari jauh2 agar dia ttidak lagi boleh melihat aku...baru beberapa kali meeting...i already started wondering what is actually in his mind...smpai begitu skali renung nya....

hari ini juga..dapat disimpulkan..aku memanglah another typical melayu girl yg pemalu...haish...

ku fikirkan ku selamba...tidak ghopenye...rasa nak muntah...rasa menyampah...rasa nak naik bus balik malaysia...semuanya ada bila nak kena present....

ke mana hilangnya confident aku mcm di uitm dulu...aku pon musykil....

susah tak bermakna mustahil...
tapi susah kalau yang mustahil itu tidak diusahakan...

- E N D -

Sunday, July 17, 2011

please respect others belonging


dah lama aku nak tulis entry ni...especially masa si AnwarHadi ni buat vlog ni...tp time tu..super bz kan..so biar dulu....

im really particular about my stuff...panggil la aku kedekut ke..poyo ke..cerewet ke...its my stuff..kalau barang kau pon aku jaga...barang aku lagi la kan???

its really disappointing to see my new stuff tetiba org guna jadi belacan...my old stuff yg aku tatang gila2 dpt kat org laen jadi smpah...barang 'murah' aku ko guna lepas tu ko biar as in takde harga langsung barang aku tu..seriously geram okay!!some of them did say sorry...some of them mcm tak bersalah lgsg walhal kalau barang dorg..tercalar sikit boley putus sahabat...some of them mcm selamba provoking me dgn membiarkan goods that had been borrowed merata-rata dan tidak dibersihkan setelah digunakan...some of them ade yg lebih selamba MENGHILANGKAN barang terbabit..yg offer nak ganti tu ok lagi..yg selamba ckp...babe...sorry...ko punya_____aku terilangkan la...lepas tu bye!haish...

yes..it might be cheap...but the memory i had with those 'cheap stuff' cannot be replaced... 

bila ko buat gini...i cant stop myself from judging you...like seriously JUDGE!!!
from my point of view...you're not amanah enough...you dont really know what is the meaning of respect...and senang cite mmg tak bertanggung jawab la...

so...a reminder to me and to all readers...if 'pinjam' or 'guna' barang org...mari la jaga ia seperti ianya hak kita..TAPI....kalo ko mmg jenis pakai buang semua benda...jgn la ko buat barang aku mcm brg ko..brg aku treat la mcm barang aku...

mari lah kite sama2 jaga menjaga...**kepada sesiapa yg pernah kupinjam barangnye...maafkan daku sekiranya barang yg kupinjam tidak berada in the condition you expected it to be...

p/s:cuaca sgt sejuk..nak type pon susah...T_T

- E N D -

Saturday, July 16, 2011

married ? me? naahhh...


just like other previous semester...UMNO launceston pastinya akan buat makan2 bajet2 macam nak berkenalan gitu ngan student baru....

so those are almost all of the Melayu(s)...tak semua dpt hadir...tp mmg total melayu idak le ramai benor pon..malaysians yes ramai..Melayu...byk tu je la pon...kalo tempat2 lain sure super ramai kot...total kami mungkin la jumlah mereka dlm mana2 persatuan...huuu....

the foods were great...budak baru ade la bape ketul sgt...yg dah LAMA yg over excited seperti biasa....

ni je la hiburan yang ade kat launnie ni....

what really concerns me today is that everyone kept asking about my status...

status eh...last semester mmg ade propaganda konon aku dah kawen...smpai tak larat la aku nak men'thank you' seme greet org...tp ghopenye smpai sem ni tak setel lagi hal ni...cara aku explain dah berbunyi seperti aku in denial   aku ni dah kawen...haih..T_T

aku pon musykil dorg ni maen2 ke seriously percaya aku dah kawen...and coincidently aku balik pulak winter hols ritu...lagi la...mmg MACAM BALIK UNTUK KAWEN....

what i can learn from this propa 'tragedy' are :
- ghopenye ramai yg bercakap psl aku...so consider aku femes la kan??haaa...hamek kau!!
- internet is like the super fast method to spread any news...true one or propaganda...

ha! tu je...
so..kepada yg menaruh harapan...boley lah teruskan menaruh harapan...yg tak pernah berharap...tak payah la berharap...

bersepah smpai ceruk mana dunia ni ade internet..pasti tahu kisah aku kawen...yg terkejut secara over pon ade..(ok..nmpak cam tak logic ke ai kawen nyah oi??!!)

saya masih lagi bujang dan tiada plan...
fullstop.rumours adelah rumours semata2.

**rase artis dah aku..!!
- E N D -

Friday, July 15, 2011

Design Research Method


i just had my very first solo presentation today...(kat sini la first time...kat mesia sokmo solo...)everyone need to present that 5 x 10 secs slides...including the lecturer n tutors...

nak kata smooth dan cemerlang tadi..mmg tak ar..aku gagap seme cukup...dgn nak kejar 10 secs tu lg...haih...tp at least i know they were paying attention sbb dorg ade la gelak kat image2 yg aku tunjuk...risau weyh..aku dah org ujung2 present..harusla time tu org dah bosan2 gitu....

ni kat atas ni si matt tu lukis...aku pon tak paham motif blajo ni lagi...tp next week seme org kena ade summary mcm ni eh!!!haih...

hopefully sem ni boley blajo dgn best...walaupon scope sem ni bukan la minat aku...

it seems to get tougher n tougher...aku pon tak dpt tgkp lagi ape yg aku tak paham...!!(bahaya oke!!)

tapi mane ade blaja senang ye dak??

*serabut aku tgk section matt ni...section ke ni??haish...

**ari ni sedih...pi lebri ptg td...lebri dah nak tutup...keciwa...

- E N D -

Thursday, July 14, 2011

homesick ke macam ni?

so...dah nak dekat seminggu la aku kat sini...dah start dah rase serabut...rase malas...rasa nyampah...dah berbagai2 lagi rasa-rasa yg negatif....

aku rasa aku homesick la...selain dr rentetan assignment catriona yg ber'theme' kan HOME...task2 lain yg membebankan otak juga turut menjadi penyebab aku rase stress yg amat....

bila aku tatau ape yg aku tatau and aku tau byk gila yg aku tatau...perasaan nye seperti nak korek tanah and timbus diri sendiri...huwaaa.....

tepon parents di Malaysia pon mcm rase lg sedih je...eyh..mak I nangis ke tadi...ye arr...dia mcm nanges...cepat2 dia bye..hahahha....status fb dia pon mcm sedey gitu...haih...

ok...this is so not me...saya ialah manusia yg tidak kenal erti homesick..(ayat nak poyo!!)

hopefully, everything will go smoothly...just as planned...
setelah di study2 perasaan ini...ini sebenarnye bukan homesick...tapi stress akibat task2 yg bertimpa2...

misi weekend...
berkampung di lebri...menunaikan task Geoff 'cinta hatiku sayang' .

wish me luck for geoff's task..!!
and doakan aku berjaya membebel dgn jayanya esok in cat's class...aku dah start mengegel dah ni...


*blaja urban lagi..T_T...skali jane jacob lagi daaa....

- E N D -

Wednesday, July 13, 2011

di kala kelas belum lagi bermula dan assignment sudah disuruh submit....


First assignment for this semester...
subject : Design Research Method

make 5 PPT slides...theme HOME...

each slide 10 seconds...

jumaat present..

sumbit petang ni!!!

apo laie?

mari merepek!!!

- E N D -

Sunday, July 10, 2011

apakah??


kejutan ari ni...
pagi tadi ke esk market...mencari rack...kononnye nak beli pokok...sudah nye buku yg tak di plan utk beli jugak yg dibeli...

esk market merupakan salah satu 'hiburan' yg ada kat launceston ni...tidak la meriah gila...tapi ok lah untuk aku menghibur hati tgk barang2...for collectors...u'll love esk market...mcm pasar karat gitu...

nak dijadikan kisah...nora belek2 la baju kat satu 'kedai'(not exactly kedai arr...mcm petak la kiranye...booth pon bukan...huuu)mat saleh yg jaga kedai ni tgh ckp ngn mat saleh lain....paras rupa...mmg tak payah ckp la...lanky and mungkin dah seminggu tak mandi gitu....serabai tak hengat...tgh2 belek tu..dia pon ckp..its $20...kitorg pon trus mcm..ooo...ok...

tiba-tiba

ongkos utk tas tangan ini sudah $40...tapi anda boleh belinya dgn $20...(camtu la lebeh kurg)
mat saleh tu yg ckp....mat saleh tadi tu...yg aku cite tak mandi serabai tu....

terperanjat gaban aku n nora...

obviously kami ter ' startle ' gitu...tetiba...mat saleh tu cuit bahu aku sikit...

heyy!!(dgn pnuh friendlynya)...aku dah mcm 'OMG...rasenya mcm tak pnah jpe dia ni kat mane2..tak pnah knal juge...nape dia bereaksi mcm jpe kawan lama ni??haish...

muka nora pulak mcm 'owh...kuna knal ke mamat ni...kawan dia gamaknye'

ghope2 nye...dia nak cakap....

ur mongolian right...??

WTFish!!!

dgn plasticnya...NO..IM MALAYSIAN...

ye..kami tersenyap sbb terkejut...trus dia igt mongolian...haish....
'boleh dikurangin lagi harganya....'byk la dia bebel....

banyak as in...BANYAK!! mcm org yg dah lama nak ckp indon tak dapat2 gitu....

so...mmg la aku sentap smpai skrg...sbb dgn keserabutan ghope dia..mmg bukan dia yg aku expect utk boley ckp indon...(obvious la aku bersikap judgemental di sini!! hamik...)

mmg la tak boley ngata sebarang gini....jpe yg cenggini...mmg baik nye kantoi....

*utk kali keberapa kali...orang mengconclude aku ini cina, mongolian dan berbagai2 lagi nationality lain....i sedih ok!!!

- E N D -

Friday, July 8, 2011

Here I am...back in Aussie

After long flight from Malaysia...now...i need to wait for my next flight to Launceston...flight cepat sejam..so its like sejam awal I arrived in melb...pilot langgar speed limit kot...huu...laju gila smpai...

Flight td so-so..but stress sbb org sebelah duduk secara over...abeh tpt aku pon dia nak masuk skali..haish...

Jumpe la bebudak launnir 2-3 ketul...walaupon tatau nama..we're sure we know each other...huhuhu...kecik je launnie..so mmg boley knal la manusia2 launnie...seme tunggu flight ke launnie...

Sekarang ni...tgh pikir mana boley makan...lapa beb...haih...mana boley makan kat airport ni?
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