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Saturday, October 1, 2011

the time has finally come

yup...you always know it when you're in trouble...

so...i am not really in that big trouble...owh...i am actually...as architecture had changed my life completely...and i let it change my life...now i realize i hate it that i had it as part of my life...yup...i've been a bit emotional this few days..not because the mood swing or whatever you called it as hormone imbalance or whatever..it is more to that i can't take it anymore...maybe because it is almost end of the semester and all of my final tasks gonna risk me that bloody 50%...and i screwed up in one of em recently..and there might be another one which is BTD...and i can't help feeling super anxious...i am panic...i let my parents know that i am panic (which now i'm regretting it..to let them know and make them panic for me too...suck!!)

i am in a critical stage...where i don't know what i don't know...and i also don't know what i know....it's a bit sad...because in 2 weeks time i have to submit this stupid artefact+exegesis which i still don't know what the hell the lecturers want from me...or to be exact...this Matthew Hinds wants? (if you search your name name through the net Mat..i am sorry...but i really feel whatever i am trying to do now is to please you! this thing is suppose to be about me...ME!!!!)..i am getting tired with all those racist reaction here...(stop denying that you're racist...or saying stuff like we make ourselves feel discriminated...think logic..who on earth want that? i don't feel it..i realize it...especially with that body language..yeah you're not racist..you wish!) i am getting all messed up with daily life too...and like seriously..I am tired about everything... everyone now is busy with their life...busy saving their own ass in this few weeks that left...and me here... suddenly left in a deep depression...aha!

i am lost..need help...and sorry...there's no really help left...there's only hope...

so, why bother?

*now that i am so sure what is actually what..who is actually who...

- E N D -

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