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Wednesday, December 28, 2011

ini entry manusia lost

pnah dengar tak quote 'it's important to do what you love' ?
lately, question that kept lingering in my mind..harus lah soklan berbunyi..

adakah semua manusia melakukan pekerjaan idaman mereka? (apakah struktur ayat? blasah saja)

keliru, confuse, tak paham or senang cerita tak tahu kenapa boleh jadi begini...lately ni sedikit confusee...betul  ke aku ni nak jadi  architect?

dok office menyampah...tambahan pula dikelilingi lelaki2 cakap bajet bagus like mr.know all...atau pon yg kurang menghormati sensitiviti wanita ataupon karier individu lain...rasanya macam diri ni tak cukup kuat utk ke site bergelumang dgn lelaki2 yg menjaga tapak serta pekerja2 indonesia, bangla mahupon pakistan...tambahan pula COW cakap macam la perempuan ini  tidak  tahu apa2 langsung...

owh...diskriminasi jantina di  Malaysia masih jelas kelihatan di mana2 sektor...bukan lah kami hadap sangat berdiri sama tinggi konon2nya setaraf dengan kaum lelaki...cuma sedikit hormat...adalah biadap memandang rendah pada kaum perempuan...*mungkin mereka ini tidak tahu betapa 'rendah'nya mereka di  mata perempuan bila mereka berkelakuan begitu.

okey...cukup la faktor itu yg membuatkan karier architect menjadi karier yg makin diletak ke tepi....
however, tak  boleh nak lari  jauh mana...belajar separuh gila...menggadaikan waktu tidur...kesihatan diabai...so..biar la berbaloi...mungkin lecturer...atau kalau rezeki Allah nak bagi..mungkin dapat bekerja dengan herzoq and de meuron ke..kolhaas ke..zumthor ke..menang award seketul dua...mari berangan jadi the next ken yeang...time tu segala discrimination factor boleh buat2 tak nampak kejap..haha..

*motif la kan berangan macam ni....haih...



- E N D -

Monday, December 19, 2011

baru sedar dah tua bila isi borang group of age dah skali dengan mereka yang 30-an

attended kak nad's engagement ceremony + birthday last saturday...it was a simple ceremony yet beautiful where only the closest family members and friends were there to celebrate...

it's her!

Alhamdulillah, everything went well and she is now called Basri's fiance. I know very little about her fiance so I won't say anything about it....and kak nad, (just in case you read this, we are very happy for you)

I have a great weekends so far, the week before, Sekar and I went to our friends' wedding (berry & munirah and Mao & PP) met everyone, talking stuff like work life, study thingy, married life and the preparation to it, babies and etc...

having those conversation make me realise that I am seriously old...(but like seriously young at heart =P)...  I've been asked million times about my future plan and who I plan to spend my life with....and the group of age that asked...it's like..ALL...so, this is the part where I think some of my elder friends got annoyed when people ask about marriage and babies...yup...this usually happened to the female....rarely to the male...

it had been really hard being a single lady these days...people will judge you like you are deaf enough to listen and stupid enough to understand whatever they said about you....some of them had being supportive through my journey of completing my studies, and some of them are/were 'supportive' enough by advising everyone around me that i m just 'playing' around...

so, to those who wonder and you read my blog, my answer is... WAIT & SEE..

i don't have anyone special in my heart yet...but it doesn't mean i'll remain that way forever....i might be your only friend that seems happy and eager to get filthy rich, famous and excel in what i do, but I do  think about what you guys WANT ME to think...so, hentikanlah ceramah2 free tu...I will always have answers for all the questions, so, sebelum korang yang annoyed, baik korang jangan tanya....


*yang sibuk2 cakap jangan memilih, jawapan saya, bukan memilih, tapi saya tahu saya tak boleh hidup dengan dia sepanjang hidup, jadi mengapa mesti  saya  kata 'ya'? 

- E N D -

Wednesday, December 14, 2011

dengan kesabaran senipis kulit bawang...terhasil la entry tak berotak macam ni...

entry yang bersifat biadap, emo, tiada rasa ingin menjaga hati sesiapa, dan terlalu berterus terang.
jika anda berjiwa sensitif sila tutup blog ini...

sepulangnya di Malaysia....selain daripada menonton drama2 Melayu yang tak habis kesah nak menjatuhkan orang, mengumpat, mengeji orang, menghakimi manusia lain sesuka hati, busy body tak pasal2, dan jumpe bomoh...takde dah kisah lain...tapi sememangnya meleis memang begitu....

tahukah anda mengapa typical spoil brat lebih gemar berkawan dengan another spoil brat?

dan mengapa rempit hanya mampu berkawan dengan rempit...

hal ini terjadi kerana sikap manusia sendiri...

lepas tu golongan baik lagi satu sibuk la mencela ckp diorg ni smpah masyarakat la hape la...padahal kalau member baru buat baik sikit dah cakap macam2....

this applied to orang yang baru nak berjinak2 dengan tudung bila org sekeliling sibuk buat spekulasi pelik2 kenapa dia pakai tudung...haih...bangsa lain aku tatau..tapi meleis mmg la begitu..

sama la seperti harta orang lain...selaku manusia yang telah ditakdirkan hidupnya mempunyai nama yg bertitle...aku tak pernah rasa happy pon dgn nama sendiri...hal ini kerana..kerana nama yang tak seberapa ini, manusia yg kurang bijak senang2 menghakimi kami...

cukuplah fitnah yg ditabur sewaktu sekolah...dan cukuplah dgn mulut manusia yg tak habis2 sibuk nak tahu bapak aku ada harta ape...or tak kurang juga yang buat spekulasi pelik2..owh typical meleis...

kadang kala terfikir...mereka yang tak tahu bersyukur atau aku yang over kaya raya dan mereka yang papa kedana...?
tak faham kadang2..seronok sangat ke cakap pasal harta orang? seronok sangat ke perabih duit orang...*owh...entry ini sudah mula bersifat biadap...maaf kepada yang membaca....

yang  bercakap...kalo parents bekerja sebagai petani..boleh la jugak diterima otak...tapi...dia sendiri berjalan sana sini dgn adik beradik yang ramai....kete rosak bapak bagi pakai mini cooper..ye saya tahu kete anda viva je...tapi kalau kenari saya rosak..bapak sy tak bagi pakai kete dia..dia soh nek train!

pfftttt...hal ini sama terjadi kalo si A sibuk ckp pasal si B...lantak la dia nak pakai ferrari ke hape ke? bapak dia yang kaya...kita yg tak mampu buat cara tak mampu...tak perlu nak sibuk2 ckp pasal org lain punya harta....lepas tu sibuk nak suruh orang tu belanja ko sana sini...ye si polan banyak duit...tapi apakah ertinya persahabatan kalau tiada give and take? sibuk nak take je...

okay...entry ini khas untuk orang2 yang suka bercakap mengenai harta orang lain tanpa memikirkan hati orang yg dikata...kita takkan pernah tahu status economy orang lain...maka adalah tidak adil untuk bercerita pada orang lain atau judge orang lain seperti..."owh dia takpe...dia banyak duit"

kan lebih elok bunyi nya..."saya tak boley berbelanja begitu...cara saya tak sama macam dia..."tak payah sibuk2 nak shift the blame...cakap pasal orang tu kaya la hape la...

dah terkena berkali2...dan percaya lah...saya ingat setiap yg pernah bercakap...peratus anda sebagai kawan hanya lah 1%...99% lagi...i prefer to say something like...owh i know him/her.....

* dah pernah membuat kira-kira...yang tak boleh blah nya..yang bercakap tu spent duit lagi banyak dari orang yg dikata...keji!
** kalo orang lain buat pada orang lain juga perasaan menyampah itu sama sahaja...tiada kurangnya...



- E N D -

Tuesday, December 13, 2011

muka batu hati daun

ni la ayat yang selalu diungkapkan time uitm dulu dek budak2 studio...apa yang batunya mungkin la sebab kerek nya muka ini...daun nya hati mungkin la sebab sebenarnya aku tak sekerek muka aku(muntah sekarang..)

Allah mengurniakan ujian supaya manusia berfikir...dan mengenal seluruh ciptaan nya...MENGENAL bukan MENGHAKIMI...siapa kita untuk menghakimi...ramai yang tertanya-tanya kenapa saya begini dan mengapa saya begitu...jawapannya..pengalaman hidup...

saya jarang jumpa manusia yang mahu menyedarkan...selalunya jumpa manusia yang lebih suka menyalahkan, menghakimi, menuduh membabi buta, dan senang-senang melemparkan fitnah....

saya lebih selalu jumpa manusia yang suka membuli, mengambil kesempatan atas kelemahan orang lain dan memperbodohkan orang lain.

kadang kala, saya terfikir adakah ini dikira aniaya...doa orang yang teraniaya makbul bukan?

hurting someone that i care means hurting me...termasuk la family members, friends, atau pon manusia2 lemah lain, haiwan... oh..sebenarnya ada byk cara utk menyakiti saya...

kadang2 mahu saja saya doakan mereka melalui perkara yang sama di masa hadapan...supaya mereka faham apa itu erti kemanusiaan...bercakap memang mudah...yang menanggung sahaja yang tahu peritnya...

apapun, ujian Allah hanya pada yang mampu menerima...bukan pada yg tidak mampu...yang mampu menindas...itu juga ujian Allah pada mereka...supaya mereka sedar dan tahu bila untuk berhenti...

*keadaan mengajar saya menjadi manusia walaupon kadang2 lupa diri
**kadang2 kita lupa nilai murni sebab sibuk nak pertahankan ego sendiri

- E N D -

Tuesday, December 6, 2011

bila manusia lupa diri

hidup ini  indah
tapi bila lupa menghargai makhluk lain yg Allah jadikan
memang panggilan manusia juga hilang layaknya untuk di panggil
bukan suruh mencinta, hanya dihormat
bukan minta disanjung, cuma harap jangan dihina, apa lagi dicela,
kadang-kadang rasa mahu berdoa supaya kamu punya situasi itu di keturunan akan datangmu
tapi yang pasti Allah hanya mengurniakan ujian kepada yg mampu menerima

*ramai yg buruk sangka dengan mulut laser tapi lupa mulut dengan hati manakan sama
**bila niece kata adik mahu kakak, can you be my kakak? rasa mahu berderai air mata...



*** rindukan mereka di launnie...apakah?

- E N D -

Friday, December 2, 2011

it's hard to say goodbye

i should be packing up all my stuff now and tidying the room...but end up blogging... i suddenly feel sad...like seriously...i am going to miss Launceston..yeah..the place that i called 'boring'...yerp..it's true...no matter how lame the place can be..but with great people around you..you won't be dead because of the extreme boredom...because you still have fun people around you...and it's weird how you could feel sad to leave the place that never come across in mind to be called as home....

okay...drama gila....

if only i can have my life just as i wanted it to be....

- E N D -

Thursday, November 24, 2011

rasanya..tindakan ini betul!

ini ialah pizza seafood

gambo pizza di seat kereta...yeah..gambo ini ialah gambo pizza 100% buatsendiri...kira ni 2nd time la...1st time the day before..mangsa cubaan eksperimen pertama haruslah housemate sendiri..-nisha yg rela dan terpaksa..dipaksa dan wajib makan...dan mangsa2 lain ialah ahli2 parti bersatu melayu studio yg tinggal...aqilah nizar and zulfadly majid...ni ialah pizza kedua setelah di challenge oleh bebudak kecik ... soklan2 seperti...'kakak, bila mahu buat muffin lagi?'(apam ku disalah ertikan sebagai muffin..T_T) dan soklan seperti...'kakak, achik suka makan pisha(pizza)..kakak pandai tak buat pisha?' ...kakak..along suka makan nasi yang hari tu..bila kakak mahu buat lagi..(hamboih...)

along, angah, achik...how can I not miss them? huuuu...


achik : yang paling banyak soalan...

ammar - budak pipi mahal...



kegembiraan menjamu bebudak kecit ni makan...PRICELESS!! walaupon nakal subhanallah...tapi..kalau memang depa dok makan...seronok nengok nya...

so ..perasaan sentimental mahu balik cuti ini sudah tiba...excited to be back with family and friends in Malaysia...but at the same time sedih nak tinggalkan all the sweet memories in Launceston... the places i've visited...the people..the memories...i can be sure enough that i am gonna miss everything and everyone in Launceston...oke kunang stop it! macam la ko balik malaysia tak balik sini balik kan! haih....

i'm gonna miss all sesi2 sosial di sini..(pergh ayat nak bajet artis kan...)

picnic...fishing(walaupon aku tak fishing hanya menyemak and buat2 bising kat pontoon...)masak2...do my smirk face all the time...main ngan bebudak ni...baca buku smpai muntah...tgk keindahan alam smpai smpai rasa dunia ini mmg indah walaupon hanya dgn melihat daun2 kering...owh ok...OVER...


*pernah terjadi...dan berazam tidak mahu ianya terjadi lagi...

- E N D -

Tuesday, November 22, 2011

how selfish people can be...

so...today i would like to talk about selfishness...yeah...when boredom strikes..i had plenty of time to think about things that might annoyed me..

i am still in Launceston menghabiskan duit mak bapak...which I think sangat loser considering my age and i am staying here doing nothing..apply keje semua tak dapat...grrr....

As money is the biggest issue lately, so i have to be a bit 'berkira' here and there...like seriously..i hate it...but i have to, now...this berkira situation will happen only when
1) you are dealing with another berkira human being
2) you are dealing with a human being yg 'harta ko - harta aku TAPI harta aku- aku sorang je yg punya'
3) people who always take advantage on others

first and foremost
no matter how rich your friends are....NEVER NEVER NEVER take advantage on them no matter what...unless they really want to pay it for you... the give and take situation should always happen...NEVER always take or always give..NEVER...this is how BFF finally goes ballistic and turn to 'i hate you from the core'. trust me..i've been in both shoes..so i know how it feels like...

civic factors...
when you start something together...make sure you finish it together...as in TOGETHER...no halfway together or only be together when you feels like it...this usually applied on the shared properties...this as well...i've been in both shoes...when people choose when they want to get involve but the real fact that is...ape kejadahnya in a logic civil mind..put yourself in your friends' situation...why would they need to pay for your part? or do stuff on your behalf? you shared it right..the concept is still the same...you want it look good..?? do it together...

2nd part of civic factor
call me fussy...yes i am...but i rather call it responsibilities... when you are using someone else properties...please take a good care of it as it is one of yours.don't simply campak2 sesuka hati, kalau bawak kereta semua lubang ko masuk, masuk highway bawak kete laju lepas tu member ko yang kna baya saman ko...be responsible...bukan nya kawan ko takmo bagitau ko..tapi..sometime they already know..your answer will be..'aku takde duit' or that lame sorry face..(this also applied to other stuff like shoes, laptops, clothes, books, bla bla bla..)so...yeah..there's no point in asking...after all..if you have no intention at all in putting yourself in others situation..like seriously..there no point letting you know and stop blaming others..and saying that it is not your problem at all...it is all about civic!

let me make it clear.. in any problem...never in a chance only 1 person is the bad one...NEVER...
1) mana ada manusia perfect
2) takkan ade manusia 100% innocent

i always tried my best not to dwell in the pass and concentrate on the present moment..not saying that i don't think about the future at all...berhati2 itu pasti... but saying something like...ko pon macam tu jugak dulu is definitely wrong...like seriously wrong!!! people don't live in their past...at least your friend let you know that you are 'suck'..have you ever been trying to tell him/her about it in the past time?

okay..enough about money talk...but money really do matters in every single aspect in life...so don't say it is not important...money can change life..to a better or worse...

benarlah kata manusia-manusia typical
no money no talk

*serabut sbb takde duit..T_T(duit ade, tapi rasa guilty..tak baik lak kata takde duit...)
**be responsible..!! masalah aku ialah aku sering lupa aku takde insuran mulut...tapi if korang tak cukup menjengkelkan..pasti aku lah the sweetest person you ever know on earth! (oke boleh muntah skarang!)
*** teringat time meminjam laptop nora untuk jangka masa yg super lama awal2 tahun dulu..!! jasamu dikenang!!
****yg lain2 yg pernah dipinjam barangnye...thank you korang! kalo ade yg aku terlupa pulang..baik tuntut segera!


- E N D -

Thursday, November 17, 2011

it's a loser talk...

so, today i am going to write about how loser i feel i am. positively..i think it's the PMS syndrome...and randomly saying..it's a depressing got nothing to do reaction...i am bored to death.. i am jobless...i never really good at anything...i am not a best student...i haven't really achieve anything yet...a pathetic loner..i am not even a bimbo (at least bimbos have beautiful face with an empty mind..)i don't have any skill like a 'skill'...yeah i am just super plain......yada yada yada...this got nothing to do stuff really drives me nuts! thinking about who's gonna hire me in the future since i have no experience at all in architecture had somehow make me feel..urrghh... i don't want to be stuck in ID field (interior design thingy)...but I AM TIRED chasing after all my dreams...ha!

so here i am..stuck doing nothing..not producing but decreasing any amount of money that i had...wasting every single second unproductively...gosh..i just cant help it!

okey..enough babbling for today...i hope this silly feeling will go away...like seriously...pronto!
kalau tak...hujung bulan ni..balik mesia!

- E N D -

Sunday, November 13, 2011

it's a random talk

so, i've been jalan-jalan, makan-makan,and lepaking like non-stop ever since i finished my class this semester...and like seriously...it was great...what worries me now is that  i didnt get any work yet..T_T

so, as a full time observer...i've been observing about a lot of thing...stuff, people, trees, the greens...i analyzed people..the way they talk, the way they behave, the way they spent their money, and bla..bla..bla...

it's true that who are we be friend with sets others perspective towards us...so..as one of this fella keep talking about his/her past uni where s/he think that all people in her/his past uni were all fake really make me sick...how real are you i wonder...!!! you did talk about others...you did talk bad thing about others and you are claiming that they're bad..?? like seriously? get real plz! you keep thinking that you know people but the fact that no you have no idea at all about people but experiences taught you how to 'judge' people sometimes make me went...euwww.....

and that certain thing that i think should be just a 'secret' between you and your friend(that you claimed you know everything about her) shouldn't be revealed...i don't know...but i hate it if you talk such thing about me behind my back...since everyone had their own version of 'aib'...what you did yesterday is aib for me...

okay..enough about that...feeling unappreciated drives people crazy i must say...like seriously crazy..yet..you can't force people to like you nor to hate..all of them come naturally unplanned....so, ignorance is everything in this kind of situation...hatred don't solve everything tho..but i really hope that one day you'll change..feeling better or making others look bad doesn't make us better at all...having more friends doesn't mean that you are adorable at all...like seriously..your 'friend' is sometime your worst enemy...and your enemy sometime is the best person for you to refer to in order to learn about yourself...ha! yup..i always believe, a true friend is a friend that will let me know what i did was wrong...(not condeming!)and not the one who keep saying good things that will make me feel comfortable all the time...

the more you talk, the more i find myself hard to tell myself that you're ok....

*not me, not I...like seriously...i am not his/her favourite friend...so..i wonder what kind of stories s/he had told people about me...haih...duniya duniya!!
*orang-orang macam ni la yang bisa membuat manusia bertelagah sesama sendiri... bajet malaikat!
tak pernah lagi dgr dia cerita pasal kesalahan diri sendiri...semuanya salah orang lain...sedar lah!!


- E N D -

Thursday, November 3, 2011

dear gay friend...seksualiti merdeka? seriously?

http://mynewshub.my/2011/11/03/penganjur-seksualiti-bangga/
http://www.themalaysianinsider.com/malaysia/article/asri-seksualiti-merdeka-must-be-rejected/


as a friend..i will never stop reminding you that it is wrong...
i know you know it is wrong...what i read thru net scared me a lot...like seriously...to the Muslims...have you forget what had happen during Nabi Nuh's time? fight yourself...change...you have everyone's support if you are ready to be on the right path..it is jihad! fighting yourself to be a better person is always a better jihad...

i use to write about this a year ago...and i don't expect to write it again...honestly...it's sad..and sickening i must say...

it is all about choice...i am sorry to be harsh...but fighting for 'your right'? you must be kidding me...





- E N D -

some words are mightier than the sword

so today, i would like to write about words...yeah...nowadays, there's a lot of medium for us to express our feelings...FB, Twitter, tmblr, blogspot, wordpress, youtube & etc...yeah..you name it...i have somehow been involved with some of them...positively and negatively i must say...

i am such a sensitive person...(yup, i realize that i've been super sensitive lately...yep...i am no more the old ignorant Kunang...)so...i've been expressing quite a lot...through twitter and in blog especially...

i've learned a lot about how words can really change the perception towards people...hurting or being hurt...like seriously...dua2 pon keji.... and my big mouth sometime can't stop babbling and merungut tak tentu hala...astaghfirullahala'zim...

bab terlebih jujur (or dlm erti kata lain laser tak tentu hala) memang belum dapat diubah...tapi rasanya..belum lagi la smpai tahap mengaibkan sesiapa...(okay self judgmental is no good i tell you..but i did receive certain advice from close friend when i am getting quite carried away..thank you for reminding me!! )

like seriously..a simple word can change the whole story...and the tone used as well..and without clarification and just assuming...things can become worst... the "best" part is when we feel that we've been fitnah-ed...(sorry i couldn't find any other words to replace fitnah)and sometime we did not realize that we are actually creating that fitnah... yup...i've been in both situations...and it is sickening to realize that i am actually creating the fitnah while i actually think that i am 100% innocent...thanks Allah that i am the type of person who prefer to blame myself first rather than others...theres one situation where there's a 'friend' 'introduce' me as wild girl to her friends that later become my friends too...and also mistakenly said bad things about me to my close friend...okay..i prefer to call it stupid judgement!! you call yourself a 'saint' by talking bad things about other? it doesn't make you even better...AT ALL...!!!

there's also a situation when i am hated thus the whole family are involved...which had made me super sad + pissed off...yeah..you can hate me...you can call me bitch..but there's nothing to do with my family...ntah family sape yg ko nampak...sedap2 mulut ko ckp tu family aku sebab mereka berperangai buruk...this type of person yang membuatkan aku hilang hormat kat orang2 yg sepatutnya aku hormat...

like seriously..i am easily annoyed...annoyed with people who think they are 100% right no matter what... yup..i can't deny that usually these people are witty...they are like lawyers..they are good at making wrong things look right....and they always forget that, in a fight,(misunderstanding situation) between human being...takkan ada satu side sahaja yang salah...yg membezakan...tahap kekejian masing2....

so, stop acting like an angel and face it...we are human being..we can never be 100% innocent...i did a lot of bad things...and i've learned a lot from it...but it always pathetic to see how others think that they are always right...

hmmmm....dah poyo sangat dah ni...harus berhenti menulis...

* salahkan teknologi...mulut lancang kini lebih lancang dengan teknologi...
**perlu mengingati diri...bukan nya kau tak biasa ...ape lg yg kau kecohkan?
***akibat mengenang kisah lalu..sigh..

- E N D -

Wednesday, November 2, 2011

they are not me...and i don't want to be them

so after all those hectic days within this year...struggling to have everything(assignment tasks) complete and bla bla...i finally have my own time...its happy the fact that you can kill the time freely...and boley kemas2 rumah without this feeling..'alamak..umah bersepah..tp i still hv tonnes of work to be done...1st thing 1st...!!' pegi merayap tak tentu hala..although belom lg merayap2...(plan dah ada....tapi..yeah..plan je la..)watching movies sampai rasa nak muntah...tdo smpai rase pnat...observe orang sekeliling sampai rasa owh i should stop observing so i won't get sick with their true colour...procrastinate sampai lebam...and mengumpul buku nak baca...('',) and i suppose this break should be the break yang i will fill with all my favourite activities...insyaAllah..takde sape soh gi ofis..takde sape mintak masuk keje..and next month baru start insyaAllah...mohon dipermudahkan...

so...go away all negative charges...and hello miss positive..ahaks...whatever doesn't kill you makes you stronger..so face it don't run!

*teringat kata-kata pujangga seorang sahabat : as long as they are hypocrite they're ok...

- E N D -

Monday, October 31, 2011

a lil' reminder for me...

quoted from a friend's status on FB...


mengecilkan hati orang adalah berdosa, berkecil hati juga adalah berdosa. Tetapi lebih besar dosanya jika kita berkecil hati ~✿ ~> I’m so confused <~ (=.=)' Kenapa orang kecilkan hati kita, kita pulak yang berdosa ?? Then I asked my dad what’s that mean. Ayah: Jika seseorang hina kita, dia berdosa. Jika kita terasa hati dgn penghinaan dia, kita juga berdosa. Tetapi dosa kita lebih besar dari dosad...ia. Anak: Uiikk... Tapi kenapa pulak? Kita tak buat apa-apa pun? Ayah: Kerana orang yang menghina kita itu adalah peringatan daripada Allah. Anak: *blur (>,<)' Ayah: Kenapa kita dihina oleh orang tu? Kerana itu adalah ujian dari Allah. Kenapa Allah hadiahkan kita ujian itu? Kerana DIA nak mengingatkan diri kita yang dah leka dengan dunia. Bila kita berkecil hati dengan orang tersebut, bermakna kita tak redha dengan ujian yang Allah turunkan. Kesimpulannya, kita bukan kecil hati dengan orang, tapi kecil hati dengan Allah. Anak: Ooooooo... Ook...(n_n)' Ayah: Lagi parah bila kita pun cerita pada kawan-kawan kita. “Dia dah banyak buat aku macam ni, macam tu…” dan sebagainya. Dan kawan-kawan kita pula akan cerita pada kawan-kawan lain. “Kesian kawan kita tu.. budak tu dah banyak sakitkan hati dia…” jadi keredhaan kita terhadap ujian Allah itu akan lesap. Anak: *termakan cili . hee (",)' ♥~ So, the conclusion is...Jangan mudah terasa hati... ♥~ Maknanya kita tak redha dengan Allah... ♥~ Nanti Allah pun tak redha dengan kita...Na’uzubillah... ~♥> "Sebenarnya, setiap kali orang memuji kamu...Seharusnya kamu rasa malu. Ucaplah astaghfirullah al-azim kerana orang memuji kamu disebabkan Allah S.W.T telah menutup aib dan kelemahan kamu." Astaghfirullah al-azim

i don't want to be neither...because both of em pon keji...why do the same thing while you can choose not to be one?

dear Allah, lead me to the right path...and dear friends...do remind me...when either situation happen...pls remind me that i've been doing the wrong thing..

saya manusia biasa...masih boleh berfikir...dan masih tersasar bila berfikir...

**a good friend is a friend who let his/her friend know that they've been doing a wrong thing, rather than talking bad thing behind their back...(yep..i  do talk bad thing about people, but i try my best not to talk about my friend)
***agak terkilan bila ada kawan yang lambat menyedarkan dan berkata kasar di kemudian hari...

- E N D -

Thursday, October 27, 2011

He closed the door..but not the window...

it's been a long week tho...i've been struggling with all the final tasks....BTD(building technology design), Design and DRM(design research method).

and i've just submitted the DRM task yesterday...and it's late submission..yeah..but practically..the lecturer said wednesday...i did submit it on wednesday...it just that...erkk...wednesday night? hahahha...

so..enough about the assignment..let's talk about the surrounding...i have friend who is facing her hard time dealing with 'the thing' from other world...and it is super sad to see her in that condition...she is the best student here...and to see her in that condition make me super sad...

and while she had been the 'hot topic' here...there's a bunch of friends who are still struggling with their final year submission...may Allah bless you guys and may all your good deeds paid by him through the presentation....

what had happened lately had somehow make me realize that we should help and care about each other a lot...fear is something that we choose to feel...there's always ways to overcome it...love each other...time management is everything...never selfish...and Allah is everything...when he said  NO..then it is a NO...so...have faith...believe in Allah...love each other..and let yourself be loved...

loving is one of the way we show our appreciation to Allah...and it sometimes shown by an honest  act....

so..here...i would like to wish to you guys all the best for final year presentation....
Aisyah Mokhtar
Nik Aziz
Abdul Azim
and others who are having the presentation as well

to Nisha and Azizul...you guys rock just now....hope that they'll give you a good grade tho...

to Maryam Pauzi...i really hope you'll be okay...you are strong and i know you're fighting...keep on fighting dear friend...our do'a are always with you...

to kak sal..good luck in the operation theater....you are strong! i am like seriously shocked to hear the news...

hope all the bad news will end with a happy ending..insyaAllah...

- E N D -

Friday, October 21, 2011

men : when they are good looking and nice..

this gay fever hits back when i watched this vid the other day on FB :
they made this vid for archifest movie competition...some of them are my ex-studiomate...and FYI everyone in this vid is straight!

i used to have this typical perspective about man....man usually come in either..never both...when they come in both package GOOD LOOKING + NICE...he must be a gay...it had been quite long i  haven't felt that way until i came to aussie to further my study..yup2...it's happening again...australian man who are good looking usually rude..poyo..racist lebeh...and the one that being nice harus lah yg muka biasa2 je...or hippies...even hippies pon tak semua nice..normal la kan...dlm setandan pisang ada la satu dua yg slack sket...so..there's one guy we called gayah..we have to...takut dia tahu...because we have two person with the same name and we decide to call him *** gay...which i think is rude sebenarnye...rupa dia biasa2 saja..but with his carrier now as a trainer at the gym and all that..being stylo all the time..(his version of stylo is more towards athletic style)... he's really nice and polite...smiling all the time...friendly..like seriously...really friendly...and yup..i do sound exaggerate...but here....a typical aussie(from what i observe)...other than the lecturer or he worked as a salesman ...they prefer not to talk to us...AT ALL...like we the asian had somekind of decease that might infect them....ha...

and this evening, while im wrapping up my artefact stuff...tetiba ade satu makhluk indah lalu...and i was like...kacaknye lelaki ini...and he said hello with a smile...gugur sat jantung...(over)..the thing is..this handsome man looked familiar...penat jugak pikir about where did i see him before?? pelakon kah dia? modelkah? student sini ke?mcm tak pnah nmpak.. pikir2...baru teringat...BF si  gayah tadi... (pnah tgh kat FB )kecewa..   T_T.. .patut pon nice and handsome...he's  gay... so time dia lalu depan ai ...jatuh2 plak barang dia angkat  kan...(yes..this is the time)...YOU NEED HELP? (lempang diri sendiri laju2)..smbil gelak2.."noooo..its okay...i think it's a lot easier to be held without the clothes on..yeah you know what i mean.."(and lepas tu dia buat muka awkward)..owh ye...mereka sedang mengangkat patung2 mannequin...mcm2 ghope dia pakaikan patung tu...pakai tudung pon ade...

oke la...motif aku tulis...sbb teruja melihat keindahan ciptaan Allah..huahua...

and nk menyatakan betapa stereotype nya aku...when he's nice and handsome.. he is either taken...or gay..T_T...what a waste...

- E N D -

Saturday, October 15, 2011

working drawing is a piece of art - Peter Zumthor

quoted back from Zumthor in his book Thinking Architecture, he demanded each architect to be able to draw detail by themselves so we would be able to completely understand our building...reading his book is so inspiring..and his way of treating material and be true to the design shows the truth of being true.

Mat was the first one who  discover my interest i must say(when i dont have idea about it). i start to understand what he meant after reading all his notes in my assignment. later came catriona and ceridwen... now i  understand why i like geoffrey bawa...and why mat think i must love Peter Zumthor and Herzog and de Meuron. They have seen the potential in me..and it's time for me to make it become real and bring out all the quality. I still having a problem in producing a working dwg..i still confuse with all the jointing and the materials..and still confuse why i should pay more attention on the north side...i still don't see working dwg as a piece of art..although Zumthor did mention that working dwg is the preliminary stage to have others experience our  imagination. have to agree with him.

thinking of his words make all the the stress go away somehow...let's create the artwork!

- E N D -

Friday, October 14, 2011

bye bye cadbury..hello coles milk chocolate

today everyone have exhibit their artifact...and mine was like...erkkk...

that's the artifact...i might have the ugliest artifact ever...but i hope i'd make a good exegesis out of it...i'll try my best not to get too irony nor too poetic..or maybe too pathetic....hopefully it would be just nice to be read and understood...

alhamdulillah..the artifact thingy had been over...now what worries me are all the final task for BTD, DS8, and exegesis which my lecturer said they are really looking forward to read mine...that's scary...so..today...some of us need to present our artifact...briefly present i must say...why mine need people interaction and bla...bla..bla...i didn't plan to go and explain..but suddenly there's a rush from the friends who ask me to sell out my idea...so..i went straight away...talking in front of nearly 80 people...in a lecturer theater..using mic...and unplan..!! when i finish talking...there's a relieve somehow..and alhamdulillah...i did not feel nervous..at all...like seriously? that is something that i never imagine would happen here..NOT BEING NERVOUS WHILE TALKING IN FRONT THE CROWD!!! 

a big wow to myself...and thanks Allah for making it possible for me...terasa macam present di uitm gitu tanpa peduli kalau salah present..hahaha...

and after have a look at almost everyone's artifact, we (aisyah, azizul, & hafiz) went straight away to coles to buy some groceries... and i bought a lot of chocolate!!! hmmph.. (",) it's been quite some time since the last time i could remember eating any...or buying any..i mean...chocolate...sangat happy kerana beli chocolate... perasaan happy seperti baru lepas membeli buku..huhu...and coles milk chocolate sangat sedap!!dan murah..taste even better than cadbury..and half the price compared to cadbury...

i hope i would be able to finish all the task with flying colours...all of them are 50% task...and my grade going to depend on these tasks...

pray for me...i need all the luck in the world..and most important all the bless from Allah...may He be with me all the time...may He gives me the ability to express all my idea...and the ability to explain my idea fluently in front of the crowd...insyaAllah...

to all who are struggling.. GOOD LUCK!! mari berjuang...!!!

- E N D -

Thursday, October 13, 2011

bosan dengan yang menilai membabi buta

dah biasa
tapi masih terasa

kalau sendiri-sendiri nak rasa tak apa
tak perlu menyebar cerita
kau kenal sangat ke aku siapa?

sejak bila harta aku harta kau juga?
owh bukan ke ya?
dah kenapa kau sibuk nak jaga?

*sangat kurang ajar untuk memiskinkan atau meng'kaya'kan orang...i am seriously annoyed
**aku anggap itu biadap...nilai persahabatan hilang 99%...maaf...ada caranya untuk bercakap...

- E N D -

Wednesday, October 12, 2011

hari hari akhir yang bakal tiba

takut, gentar, resah, gelisah, panik, rasa nak muntah,
itu semua tanda semester dah hampir ke penghujung
namun bukan semester yang salah
masa juga tidak salah
yang salah pastilah pengguna masa
yang tak reti-reti bahasa
bukan bertangguh, cuma idea tak tiba-tiba
yang tak perlu idea tak tahu nak buat pula
harap-harap tidak gila...

**mengharap semua keajaiban berada dengan diri ini

- E N D -

Monday, October 10, 2011

semua itu dariNya jua

setelah berminggu-minggu berhempas pulas untuk proposal DRM...akhirnya...yang ke-5 baru approved... it's all from Him...to Him i asked for help, and from Him i got all the inspiration.. the final result is still mystery...but i hope it turn up well...

lega nya rasa hati..memang Allah saja yang tahu....2 weeks left...hope that all His blessings are with me...the miracles are always around...dan semuanya siap on time.

**doakan saya dengan artefact sy...risau sebenarnya dengan reaksi masyarakat dengan kitab suci Al-quran yang bakal dikongsi bersama...

- E N D -

Saturday, October 8, 2011

pesanan hari ini

bapak bilang :
tak mengapa upset
jangan sampai mereka turut upset

kawan bilang :
bila kau marah
kau hilang kawalan
kau tak tahu siapa yang kau sakiti bila kau marah

okey... 2 kali pesanan dariNya melalui mereka...
alhamdulillah...
ketuk kepala..fikir-fikirkan...





**perlu mencari rentak yang hilang..mungkinkan aku tidak 'pure' seperti dahulu lagi?
- ya..aku lebih banyak terpengaruh dan tanpa sedar memudarkan kebolehan diri sendiri...
bila aku tak sedar, aku perlu dimensi lain untuk menyedarkan aku...
sedarkan aku!

- E N D -

Friday, October 7, 2011

minggu-minggu kritikal

sedang dalam keadaan kritikal...super kritikal..time-time di mana aku pikir..nape la aku tak abeskan je kat uitm dulu..napelah tak kawen je awal2...sibuknya aku nak kejar carrier yang belum tentu ni...astaghfirullahhala'zim...

penyesalan adalah berdosa...!!!

TAPI...

dalam sibuk2 and kritikal...semalam sempat lagi tidur panjang...selamba gila buat keputusan tidur super awal semalam...haih...bangun pening...good decision kunang!!!

so...nothing seems possible now until it's done! so...doakan saya yang terkapai2 di sini..doa anda2 lah yg telah mempossiblekan segala yg saya fikirkan impossible..

yesterday there's a friend of mine wrote a blog about me...super terharu...i wish i can be there for you...like seriously...don't worry babe..everything is going to be fine....menggelupur je dulu sekarang....

kepada yang lain2...be happy...be strong...love and be loved...

**mari berhempas pulas!!

- E N D -

Sunday, October 2, 2011

bosan

mende merepek yang aku buat hari ni....grrr.....


so...lately ni hati gua dah kembali menjadi daun2 kering....kejap2 je pon nak jadi batu nye...perasaan nye sama macam masa tulis blog kat friendster dulu2...hahahaha...perasaan bercampur baur...semua ada positive, negative, lalang, pagar...semua ah.....tp mcm biasa la....sure arr tak pnah tewas bab2 mencuba menjadi positive...bila baru nak positif...haruslah ade kejadian2 pelik terjadi yg memusnahkan rasa2 positive tu...so malas nak pikir panjang..gua pon reka2 situasi dlm kepala sesuka hati.....so malas nak buat entry bajet2 bahagia mahupon bajet2 bagus macam orang2 lain...gua mengaku la memang gua tgh stress and sememangnya tak berapa bagus...kalo baca2 balik entry2 sendiri..memang la hujung2 sem byk gila entry ke arah susur jalur kegelapan..hahahha...

bahaya bahaya...

tidak dinafikan gua memang cepat annoyed...tapi gua juga cepat sejuk hati sejajar dengan kecepatan panas hati ini..aicheh...

so jadi..hopefully...cas-cas negative yang tak diperlukan ni cepat2 pergi... semoga ilham2 bernas dikurniakan Allah hendaknya...dan perasaan2 pelik tidak muncul dalam diri...

*sometimes, the less i know the better.
**alhamdulillah...email direply...lega dah anta proposal baru tapi tetap stress tak paham ape kejadahnye semua ini? benarlah firasat awal...once you hit it right...HD terus...masalah nya...ini semua masih lagi percaturan...sikit sgt manusia yg hit it right...mcm aku yg ter-hit ni ape kes?



- E N D -

Saturday, October 1, 2011

the time has finally come

yup...you always know it when you're in trouble...

so...i am not really in that big trouble...owh...i am actually...as architecture had changed my life completely...and i let it change my life...now i realize i hate it that i had it as part of my life...yup...i've been a bit emotional this few days..not because the mood swing or whatever you called it as hormone imbalance or whatever..it is more to that i can't take it anymore...maybe because it is almost end of the semester and all of my final tasks gonna risk me that bloody 50%...and i screwed up in one of em recently..and there might be another one which is BTD...and i can't help feeling super anxious...i am panic...i let my parents know that i am panic (which now i'm regretting it..to let them know and make them panic for me too...suck!!)

i am in a critical stage...where i don't know what i don't know...and i also don't know what i know....it's a bit sad...because in 2 weeks time i have to submit this stupid artefact+exegesis which i still don't know what the hell the lecturers want from me...or to be exact...this Matthew Hinds wants? (if you search your name name through the net Mat..i am sorry...but i really feel whatever i am trying to do now is to please you! this thing is suppose to be about me...ME!!!!)..i am getting tired with all those racist reaction here...(stop denying that you're racist...or saying stuff like we make ourselves feel discriminated...think logic..who on earth want that? i don't feel it..i realize it...especially with that body language..yeah you're not racist..you wish!) i am getting all messed up with daily life too...and like seriously..I am tired about everything... everyone now is busy with their life...busy saving their own ass in this few weeks that left...and me here... suddenly left in a deep depression...aha!

i am lost..need help...and sorry...there's no really help left...there's only hope...

so, why bother?

*now that i am so sure what is actually what..who is actually who...

- E N D -

Friday, September 30, 2011

i should stay calm but i couldn't

so...as usual...here is where i randomly write all my complaints about the cruel world....duhhh....
today is DRM day...and guess what? my proposal had been rejected....AGAIN!!!!
i am super worried and like seriously....WORRIED!
the lecturers had drag this to the end..and the victim now are us!
OMG...i have no idea what i should do...what i could do...what the hell is this Design Research Method thingy...??? and i am completely lost....

i cant expect anyone too help me in this...and like seriously...i myself cant help myself because i dont know what i should do and what i could do....

i know i should stay calm to be able to think...but i dont have enough time to stay calm...seriously..i dont even have time to think...but still..i need to spare some time to think...

i need idea...and i need strength....

- E N D -

Wednesday, September 28, 2011

to be better, you should first know how to be one...

this is my laptop screen...cool eh...? my wallpaper..ha ha..

i wonder why i feel so happy today.....
and the reason is......


it's 21 degree today!
alhamdulillah...finally i can feel the heat after the long cold....
this is what i'm trying to show you at the wallpaper...

weather can really change human's behaviour... owh yeah..i read this inspiring entry written by my malaysian friend here in launceston...and like seriously...it is so inspiring..read it here....it is about her view about marriage and about nowadays ways of life..her entry had somehow make me realize how i never care about everything ....

and the best part of her entry is "The better person you become, the better people you attract." So focus on becoming better and Allah willing, we will attract the right kind of person =]

owh..another inspiring blog for today is ska's...she wrote about the power of positive-ness ...aha! (that is  how i interpreted it..hehe... ) she always wrote an inspiring entries...but her entry about parenting had really make me feel that love is what we need..not fear...

FYI...i shouldn't be blogwalking nor blogging since i am going to have a design tute tomorrow....but as usual..the same old kunang...i write when i feel like it...and reading an inspiring stuff can really boost up your idea and positive energy..

hmmm...
it almost to the end...i mean the semester...and i cant wait to have it end...haha...my brain needs break...i think i am almost out of braincell already...i've used too much brain i must say for this semester...my plan for the after semester will change due to what my parents think about it...huuu...(at last...i made my decision...call me anak emak or anak bapak)..i find it hard to argue with them...

i hope that everything will go smooth as planned...i will not lose word during presentation... i have no idea why my english had getting worse since i came here..it is super weird....i find it hard to construct a simple sentence...and to say it out loud..'rasa nak terjun lombong'...(yup..it's Allah's will...He wants me to work harder for sure)...

i pray that He will always there to guide me in everything i do... 

- E N D -

Monday, September 26, 2011

mode jual ikan

hari ini perasaan terasa sedikit kurang rasional...semua yg diperkatakan kedengaran salah di sana sini...semua yang dipamerkan nampak salah di sana sini...duuhhh...

yup...i named this symptom as over sensitive...
mungkin juga diakibatkan oleh rasa tidak selesa pada gigi juga mengundang perasaan2 bangang ni...

sometimes i just want the old me..tak sensitive langsung dgn apa2 yang terjadi..semua orang sakit hati with me without me knowing it...like seriously...memang time tu kurang masalah kat kepala, kurang sakit hati....but the after impact yang tak boleh blah...people cant stand you instead of you cant stand people...and i've been in both situation seriously....and setelah diberi kesedaran oleh Nya setelah like memang dari kecik pon tak sensitive...bila recall2 balik...memang la aku boleh tahan bangang... sorry peeps...memang gua tak perasan...so each time aku nak piss off sgt pon...aku sure akan teringat bahawa aku juga pernah 'tidak berhati'...susah nak kata...mende ni bukan keras hati...tapi more kpd tak peka...tak perasan..bukan malas nak amik pot ye...malas amik pot adalah satu perkara yang berbeza...ni memang tak perasan...so...tahap kesabaran kawan2 yg masih setia hingga ke hari ini memang lah tinggi...yang dpt melihat revolusi dr tiada perasan kepada berperasaan... korg sure paham apa yg aku maksudkan....sesiapa yang pernah menjadi boyfriend...thank you di atas kesabaran tak terduga anda...skarang ni baru aku perasan tang mana aku tak peka...hahaha...

ok end of this part... what ever it is...i m super grateful that Allah gave me this sensitivity... because like seriously...i've met few of 'old me'...and its hard not to hate them...seriously...i dont realize it at first...tp setelah di re-call2...nyata...i've been in that shoe!

mende yang aku btol2 tak blurr sepanjang hidup setakat ni...ialah bab kewangan la kot...bab ni gua tak selamba...memang dari dulu pon gua sentiasa risau bab2 ni... and like seriously..i dont get it when orang berkecil hati bila si pemiutang minta hutang pada si pemiutang or orang yang menggunakan barang orang lain for granted dan upset bila ditegur...berkira jgn ckp la...aku dah berjuta kali kena atas dunia ni...like seriously...i dont mind sharing anything...tapi bila pihak yang habis tu manjang je aku...gua pon jadi tak ikhlas la beb...ape kejadahnye aku membela kau...situation differ ye..!!lepas tu time barang kau seme personal use...barang aku semua kau luakkan..sekali dua gua layan..tapi kalau mcm dah sepanjang perkenalan...gua sentap la jugak...

diharap tiada siapa yang sentap ye! blog ni pon dah mention awal2...place where i write all my complaints about the world! duuuhhh...selain mengingatkan diri sendiri...pembaca juga diharap dpt mengingat diri masing2...yg penting aku ingat..!! aku take note..!! aku kena nampak dulu silap aku before others do...

okey hari ni emosi kurang stabil...kerja dah mula menimbun..masing2 dah mula keluar ayat jual ikan seperti lupa bahawa orang lain juga busy seperti dia, atau mungkin lebih busy daripada..tiada istilah kerja saya lebih penting dari awak atau sebaliknya..maka...tolak ansur lah yang paling utama...yang pasti sebelah pihak sahaja yang bertolak, beransur..memang wont work...maka...let's try hard to make sure everything goes smooth like it should be...

sangat suka design2 lembu di tempat cheese semalam...!!


dunia ini dipinjamkan utk semua...maka mari lah kita menjaga isinya bersama2!

terharu membaca expression, caption, dan luah hati gembira rakan2 yang terlibat semalam....
yes. we had so much fun together yesterday...it was seriously fun and memorable!!

*i m just like other normal human being...sabar saya sentiasa ada limitnya...ikhlas saya juga ada batasannya..

- E N D -

Sunday, September 25, 2011

bersyukur dengan nikmat Nya


hmmm...bunyi title mcm hari ni je bersyukur...-__-

*kita harus sentiasa bersyukur...walau diberi musibah sekali pun, kerana musibah itu tanda Dia sayangkan kita* (",)

today is the day we agree to pick as our last day for berfoya-foya for this sem, insyaAllah...as the upcoming weeks will be hectic as hell...so we decided to 'immune' ourselves with 'kebahagiaan yg tak terhingga' before the weeks come..T_T..pathetic gila!

so...overall...todays vacation was great!! all were in moderation i must say..no exaggeration...everyone behave and enjoy the day...our original plan is only to go to the tulip farm...but it ends up...tulip farm...light house...cherry shed...chocolate museum..cheese shed..and andy's gelato makan eskrem sedap...picnic pagi kat burnie tepi pantai...picnic ptg tak igt nama tempat...tp best sbb solat semua skali kat situ...makanan sedap2...cuaca alhamdulillah elok...alhamdulillah...

kesimpulannya...our journey in experiencing His greatness through all the great nature we saw today was awesome...subhanallah...semua mende nampak indah...walaupon kalau ikut2 kan picnic petang tadi ialah di tepi longkang..haha...tapi seronok!

saya suka picnic ringan2 gini..semua last minute plan..tapi semua happy...i'm happy..happy to see everyone's happy..and everyone seems happy to see everyone's happiness...

so...with all this happiness He grants us today..I hope...we will be tough enough...to face the upcoming hectic weeks...all the best to all of us...






some of today's pics...sangat suka design lembu itu!

*thanks Allah for this great day!

- E N D -

Tuesday, September 20, 2011

insyaAllah

segala yang terjadi ade perancangan..

apa yang terjadi hari ini akan ada rancagan untuk di kemudian harinya...
tinggal nak putuskan sahaja...bagaimana caranya? do it in your own way...asalkan masih ada pertimbangan untuk kebaikan manusia sejagat...

peringatan untuk diri sendiri terutamanya...dan for the readers...
kegembiraan dunia itu hanya pinjaman sementara dari Allah
ujian itu merupakan tanda kasih sayang Allah
hatta mimpi dalam tidur juga dari Allah

sekiranya Allah mahukan ianya jadi...maka jadi lah ia...

usaha + doa + tawakal...

**Ya Allah...jauhkan aku dari bisikan syaitan...

- E N D -

Sunday, September 18, 2011

logic and reality

after dah bape hari blog ni di-auto publishkan..maka...hari ini...blog akan ditulis live and fresh.....
baca2 balik...mcm silap je rentetan blog gua...tp baca2 balik kali kedua...boley thn arr prediction gua last few days...

so seperti biasa....saat ini patutnya buat BTD...tp buang masa sat!!!

alhamdulillah....yesterday was awesome...being in new environment...new circle of friends...and being with different people taught me a lot of things...kurang sikit rasa sedih....

penat..but alhamdulillah...it was awesome...never know that being with new people can be this awesome..

i had a long chat with some old friends yesterday...and like what other normal old buddies will do...we will talk about us..gossip2 sket....update sikit2...so smpai satu part yg tetiba termasuk ke arah2 tazkirah gitu...which I think was good but never thought it would happen among us..haha...tetiba ada part2 motivasi...ada part2 good old days reminiscent.. FYI they werent my best friend during those day..and still not...for arguement sake...the meaning of friend itself is hugely personal....and we are happy it happened that way...

my friend quoted this,
"I have some friends I never see who live miles away. We were best friends in college but now we call each other only when we have good news or when we're unhappy or just need to reconnect. Neither the distance nor the years seem to matter, we can start right up where we left off, when there is no other way good friends should be heard if they can't be seen."

hmmm...thats what normally happened...like seriously...i m grateful to be friend to whoever had had me as friend in their heart..present and past...i've faced a lot of hard time with my friends...gadoh..backstabbed stuff..'curang'...anak manja..tipikal anak orang kaya....biadap..tak sedar diri...bla..bla...bla...and that make us know ourself better....everyone deserve a good friend or a bunch of good friends. Theres no term of me having a cooler friend than you...or your friends are better than mine...whatever perception we had about others is totally different  to be compared...some might think my friends are just so uncool...but deep in my heart...those uncool friend is just another normal cool human being in my heart and who are you to judge em?

owh...i m super sensitive when something bad happened to my friend...or when you talk bad things about my friend...like seriously..if others had did the same things to you...i'll get pissed offf too...and some of these friends dont even know how much i cared sometimes...just like i shockingly know that theres actually bunch of friends who really care about me...but as usual..i failed to see things....i see only what i choose to see...not see things that i should see.... thanks guys for being really nice...only Allah can repay you for all the good deeds....insyaAllah..

and like what A said yesterday..."hidup tak susah pon...yg buat susah bila masing2 nak jadi best..time ko rasa ko lagi best...time tu la sebenarnye kau hilang diri kau..."semua senyap...A ialah manusia yg annoying, mulut longkang tapi berjiwa sensitif..aha!(sila jgn maki aku kalo ko baca ni)...one thing good about A is A will always confront everything..dia la pelopor.."yg kau menggelupur pedas tu kenapa kalo tak makan cili..."...like seriously..betul sangat...and yg lain2 hanya mampu senyap...including me... yes...mulut longkang can be good sometimes...

and W said : when you think Allah had actually granted you with what you've prayed/wish for...think again...is it for your good or He is just trying to test you...? W...you always the softest one...yup...agree with W...like what i always said...what is wrong is never completely wrong...and what is right is never completely right...what you think is good is not 100% good... W...u r always the sweetest..jarang2 cakap...skali cakap mmg terbaik!!

so what define everything is always base on how you wanted it to be defined...family..friends...personal space..happiness...stress...and etc...and what all of us had agree yesterday was...'biar and lihat...tindakan kadang2 tak perlu pun...biar saja mereka gembira dengan diri mereka... tapi...di ingat pula oleh W..."hati kita Allah bagi untuk kita jaga..tapi jangan pula disakiti hati orang lain demi menjaga hati sendiri...paham..perbaiki diri...baru be better....bila kita skip proses perbaiki diri tu..tu yang kita lupa..Allah pinjamkan dunia ni kat KITA semua...bukan kita sorang"(lps tu keluar mcm2 lagi nasihat2 bernas)..haih la W...may Allah bless you always...bila berckp tu sejuk je dgr...we need more people like you on this planet...

so dalam proses meneutralkan diri...walaupon susah...i'll try...whatever doesn't kill you makes you stronger kunang...
May Allah leads me along the way towards it...



**yg lain2 tu..it doesn't mean what you said are not important...at this moment..i prefer to keep it to myself...no heart feelings..nnt gua sambung lagi tulis...

- E N D -

Saturday, September 17, 2011

erti yang tiada erti

resah, gelisah, menyampah,
mampukah tak endah?

telinga masih boleh mendengar
mata masih mampu mengesan sinar
hati makin pudar
adakah itu tanda aku perlu sedar?
atau sudah mulai sedar?

siapa kau?
apakah kau?
di mana kah kau?
mengapa kau?

aku biasa melihat perkara tipikal
tapi belum mampu melalui kehidupan tipikal
apatah lagi mengharunginya dengan insan tipikal

ini bukan lagi fikiran
ini bukan lagi rintihan
tapi ini sudah jadi kejian


kau?



**oh ya..kau ada hati yang perlu dijaga....

- E N D -

Friday, September 16, 2011

i am living another typical archy life

i am facing a really hard time now...theres 5 weeks to go..and im all lost...i hate it when i did good at the beginning and end up like a loser towards the end...

to be honest...i am grateful despite all the craziness that happened lately...it make me feel more ambitious in certain way..and the will to strive for the best had gone to 200% i must say...

to be here...where you are the 'alien' of the place..never been easy...its harder when you are muslim and a woman..people look at you differently...people understand you differently...and sometimes they see you like you're the cause of a disease...it is emotionally challenging especially when you feel like people chose to be racist rather than professional...well...its not what we feel...its what we realize...and as usual, they'll deny it....
okay..enough about people..

let's talk about me!

this week had been a disaster....like seriously..things dont always happen as you want it...when you think you are actually in the right track..and all the responses you receive from the lecturers were positive...you'll start to feel more at ease...and got super-shock with the result for the work you've done...thats what happen to me...i receive a very good responses indeed..i did super well at the beginning..and today..to receive a lower result than before and lower than i hope it to be had somehow made me feel down...this is when you are emotionally tested...you have to put away all the negative thought immediately and move forward...when tense is your motivator...you can do something that beyond your ability...so...with a lot of effort...doa..and tawakal...i really hope i could do better...be the best....and make people who love me proud...

i'll try my best to beat my emotion when difficulties come...and rationally re-strategizing the next step...

work hard..think smart..live life...and believe in Allah as he would never fails to love you... 

**when you are just average..there are still hundred reasons to fail you...so be the best..make failure seems impossible....(lebih kurg gitu la kata2 Pn.Nakiah kat i dulu...)

enjoy the video...this is what i feel...what i've experience..and what i would say out loud if i am given the chance to say it...yes..i am living another typical archi student life...!!






- E N D -

Thursday, September 15, 2011

hari stress ai...yu ade hari stress? ha!

so...as usual...what you saw is not always what you get...
kunang...after this saturday..no more bersuka ria for you..now that you get the chance to have an equal time like others mean that you could do better than others...BETTER...

lift up your chin...think critically...do what you have to do...struggle like theres no more tomoro..and doa and tawakal for all the effort...

insyaAllah...He will always give what you deserve...

**super anxious for tomoro's DRM....i can go 'gila' if this happens everyday....

- E N D -

happy birthday aisyah mokhtar

so...its 15th sept...and its my housemate's birthday! she is going to have her presentation jap lagi..and i hope she will be doing great on her birthday..my best wishes also goes to my other housemate,nisha, who will also be presenting tomorrow.

to wake up this early...i am suppose to study but end up procrastinate...had a weird dream last night..and had googled for its meaning..and i should be extra careful...may Allah will always protect me from anything that is not good...

i will surely write again tomorrow after my session with the lecturer...tomorrow i will get the feedback for my last task for DS8...and like seriously...i am super anxious to know the result...hope that im doing good and fine...

wish me luck!
to aisyah & nisha...
good luck for today!

- E N D -

Sunday, September 11, 2011

positive is not my bestfriend at this moment

nothing much to say....

i should be struggling doing DRM and BTD...but end up procrastinating like hell...
and mengada2 tacing2...
blah ah kau !
cakap tak serupa bikin...

orang lain pon pandai jual ikan!

I is the most selfish word I ever found in the dictionary...
and we sometimes forget that we live in 'we'...
aha!

**menyampah dengan semua benda...duuhhh...
masing-masing mahu menjadi malaikat...aku tak heran...

- E N D -

Saturday, September 10, 2011

afraid??

i just finished watching muallaf...yes it is not a new movie, but only today i got the chance to watch it.

i should be writing a report for my DRM artefact...hmmm...

being here in Australia, or specifically, Launceston, Tasmania, make me think, a lot.about so many stuff...
in Malaysia, I am one of thousand book lovers who read almost everything.... i have  friends that i think have this mutual interest. nana and ska.we read everything, we love everything, we hate everything, we argue about everything, we support whoever we think is right, and our openness about thing that happened around us is definly different compared to my other friend..... girls..like seriously i miss you girls..and each time there's an issue happened here especially in my DRM class...i wish you were here with me...as both of you are better with words....

i will randomly judge people in this entry...i dont have problems with other races nor relligion. yes i am a Muslim..and i practise Islam...

honestly, i've been in both situation...with hijab and without hijab...my heights and my skin colour make me look different. i dont really look like other typical malay although i am the real malay. i've been in the situation where people simply judge me as 'wild girl' and in situation where recently i was called  as uncivilized people just because im wearing hijab in this country. being judged and judging is 2 complete different thing. being the judges doesnt make you any better. but being the one who is judged, proof who you are.

i posted what had happen to me recently where theres a group of guy...(how i wish i could call them a bunch of fools...but that just so not me...) insulted me in a public space...lucky they just say bad words and there is no any body contact at all....but it makes me think....what make people do such thing? i mean the insult part....

like seriously...i dont really judge people what they are...but more to who they are...

i dont understand when people see islam as a terrorist...muslim woman as a threat, ninjas or whatever you named us...i just dont understand...i wonder what will happen if you're in my shoe...

people blindly define what is freedom...what is civilisation...they easily get upset, they narrow down their mind...they think what they want to think...they chose who they want to respect without thinking, and they randomly assume others as 'the fools' and unlucky...

think..think..think...what make you different...assuming is never the right thing to do... confronting is different to general announcement... i found that it is hard for people to confront others when they have problems... they prefer to assume that the other individual can never accept about what they going to say...so as a result..they tell others and misconception happens..owh..and theres some who tried to be honest..but at the same time humiliate the other party because of it...and that is not confronting...that is humiliating...find ways guys...!!!



read and interpret...
honestly...i have no problem at all people saying stuff towards me..as long as theres no body contact...yup its true like ska used to say to me once...Kuna...u kan selalu dont give a damn about what people say...so why bother...??

she's right...stuff like this wont never get me down...i pity them for behaving such way...

people are afraid with stuff they dont understand / know...

**i didnt post it to make you angry, feel offended nor feel threaten...i want you to think..!!



- E N D -

Friday, September 9, 2011

untuk peringatan

setelah dikurniakan Allah pelbagai nikmat...mungkin ini lah harinya sedikit peringatan darinya agar jgn lalai dan mudah berpuas hati....Alhamdulillah...kurniaan Allah sem ni mencurah2...more than i can ever imagine...like seriously...

hari ini diingatkan tentang dalam satu2 mende2 yang smooth...pasti akan ade rintangan2 yg perlu ditangani...
dlm hidup yg smooth pasti ade manusia2 yg rs mereka betul kerana mereka percaya faktor umur mereka membuatkan merela lebih tahu tanpa mengira perasaan si muda....
dlm hidup yg smooth Allah nak kita fikir kalo ape yg kita kna ni jangan la dibuat kepada orang lain pula hendaknya....
dlm hidup yg smooth Allah nak kita igt dan belajar dengan apa yg jadi di sekeliling kita...yg baik jadikan pengajaran..yg buruk jadikan sempadan...
dlm hidup kita yg smooth...dia nak kita terus meminta kepadanya...serta bersyukur dengan nikmat, hidayah, kemudahan, dan semua atau apa jua jenis nikmat dunia ni...

oke..itu sahaja pengajaran yg saya dapat untuk hari ini sahaja...hari2 lain..tadak tulis aaa....

**biadap adalah satu tingkah laku yg dipilih...dan saya kurang berminat dengan pilihan itu...

- E N D -

Friday, September 2, 2011

kegagalan yg hish...

rupanya tak semudah yg disangka
contour di rhino gagal dilaksana
ampun ampun ampun
udah 2 hari pusing2
tak jadi2 bikin hati runsing

malas gila nak balik ke bumi kangaroo
malas nak mengadap dunia sana yang haru biru

**mood sem ini tamat di sini sahaja
*selain diri sendiri...saya salahkan kamu...

- E N D -

Thursday, September 1, 2011

masih belum terubat...

this entry will show you the other side of me..
ye...ni I la yang tules...aku ni...

bunyi title nak jiwang...hahaha...

kepada kawan-kawan saya di luar sana....heed my word...kawan!!

saya ni sensitif orangnye...sungguh pon selalu disalah ertikan tiang..tunggul...batu...human being that never give a damn about anything... dan lain2 lagi...saya yakin saya adalah manusia normal yang typical...

sungguh pon selalu disalah 'judgement-kan' oleh manusia sekeliling...saya dah biasa..ye saya redha...bukan tidak kisah..cuma..ianya hak anda untuk menilai...tapi siapa anda? saya juga masih dalam proses mengenali diri sendiri...bagaimana pula anda lebih pasti siapa saya?

cuma kadang-kadang saya terfikir...susah sangat ke nak bersangka baik untuk orang lain?
susah sangat ke nak bercakap baik tentang orang lain...

ingat...
yang betul belum tentu betul
yang salah belum tentu salah

tulisan saya memang condong ke kiri...tapi itu tak bermakna apa2...saya sentiasa mengenang kisah lalu walaupun saya lebih suka fikir ape yang bakal jadi....

bila jadi begini...saya akan selalu ingatkan diri saya...

Allah gives me what I need..not what I want...

saya dah penat bersabar...
mungkin dah sampai masa saya mengundur diri...
benarlah kata manusia-manusia typical...
jangan berharap sangat pada kelainan...

kepada diri sediri

situasi ini sama seperti yang lepas..
apa yang perit sangat?
situasinya sama..
key player nya juga lebih kurang sama
umur, status, style, background...bla..bla..bla...
impact nya juga hampir2 sama
what surprised me...

ayat nya juga sama!!

rasa peritnya juga hampir sama...

apakah yang hendak ditunjukkan oleh Mu ya Allah?

saya tak tahu apa yang awak cuba sampaikan..
kalo awak nak delete saya dari hidup awak..
saya sedia di delete kan..
tapi tak perlu buat statement yang buat saya rasa bersalah jadi part of ur life

saya takkan pernah serik dalam berkawan...
dan saya lebih suka our good old days dari hari sekarang yang kelat..

yes..awak tahu siapa sayang awak...bagus laaa...
saya masih sayang awak after what had happened...
saya? saya masih belum sure siapa sayang saya...yang saya pasti...saya dah silap...
awak tak pernah sayang saya...



*terguris
**pftt..ayat tak bleh blah...

- E N D -

Monday, August 29, 2011

tak bersedia

ya...saya baru lepas submit DRM...dari apa yang telah dihantar..ingin saya nyatakan perasaan bercampur baur saya...

dari NN baik lah PP
tapi yang pasti...
saya bersedia untuk jatuh

tapi

saya belum bersedia untuk jatuh merudum

*moral- buat awal2! tapi seminar sikit sangat hari tuh info..haish...balik raya lagi...rasakan!!! saya perlu observe utk idea..T_T

- E N D -

Sunday, August 28, 2011

this is what we called...ya...life!!

sepatutnya bertungkus lumus buat DRM...tapi selamba gila tulis blog...
bukan apa...sebelum meroyan...baik tulis sket2..haha...

not gonna rhyme

bila betul tak semestinya betul
bila salah tak semestinya salah

bila usaha patutnya berdua
tapi yg respond hanya sebelah

bila biadap tapi tak sedar
bila salah tak rela dibetulkan

bila rasa hati suci dan bersih
dan bila terasa hati orang lain hitam berjelaga
yang tu dah nyata hati tak lah putih
sama je macam hati2 lain yang tak berjaga

bila yang kita nampak ape yang orang buat pada kita SAHAJA
tu yg buat kita lupa pada apa yang kita buat orang lain 'murka'
bila mengaku memaafkan tapi dendam tetap ada
oh itu lah realiti dunia

owh..I dont give a damn...





- E N D -

Thursday, August 25, 2011

when...

it's not gonna rhyme...it is not even a poem..

when your appearance is what you care the most
when what you see are others' fault
when you take for granted others' stuffs and feelings
when you think you should always get what you want
when you want things to be in 'your way' and forget that we shared this planet
when you do things without thinking

you are just like us who you think SUCK

or maybe worst?

oh yeah, who am I to judge...
who are you?

typical...

owh daaa....
bye...

reminder for myself and other
* think before you leap
**hidayah tidak diberi kalau tidak dicari...perbaiki diri..
***yang appearance tu takde kaitan dengan ai...im refering to someone else...


- E N D -

Tuesday, August 23, 2011

malas

malas itu penyakit
lazy itu sakit
walau tak banyak tapi sikit
kalo menabung pon lama lama jadi bukit...

malas?

ye...itu saya sekarang...
kalau la boleh beli rajin kat mana mana kedai...pasti dah borong sedozen dua....
DRM (design research method) punca segala keresahan tak berpenghujung ini...aaaaarrrgghhhh....
resah..tak paham..menyampah..terus jadi malas...
bye!


satu lg building yg bakal menghantui...
oh Geoff!!

**kalo dulu kat uitm sehari aku ckp perkataan concept 100x...skrg ni ni kat utas perkataan DRM ade dekat 1000x aku sebut...tu blom kira proses berfikir yg terbawa2 dlm tidor lg..haih...

- E N D -

Friday, August 19, 2011

shocked..and still is...

selama hidup...
bukan tak pernah dipuji...
cuma lebih biasa saja dikeji...
dipinggir apatah lagi...

tapi yang jadi hari ini
berlebih-lebihan
ianya rahmat, ianya ujian
yang tak pernah bertegur sapa tiba-tiba jadi kawan
soalan lebih banyak dari jawapan

sesungguhnya,
stress lebih banyak dari gembira

ada yg kata wow...deep...
ada yg kata fantastic,
ada yang kata you expressed it well,
ada yg sama2 shock sama mcm tuan punya badan
macam2 ekspresi terpapar

semua itu dari Allah jua.

sharing is caring
Alhamdulillah...
berasa sangat gembira melihat kawan2 non muslim like status FB yg berbunyi 'Alhamdulillah'...
happy melihat mereka juga happy....

*previous blog sudah terdelete thru phone...kalo baca yg tu..mmg lah ramai yg terkejut dgn ape yg terjadi hari ini...


when hobby is no longer a hobby _ my hobby is reading...not!!

- E N D -

Saturday, August 13, 2011

Belum mampu

Amaran!!!!
Entry berunsur annoyying...



Blog ai...yu tak suka sila tekan butang close!!!






Gua ingat gua dah cukup plastic..rupanya tak...gua rasa nak renyuk muka lu...lu boleh cakap wa childish...tp wa jadi 'childish' respond lu...yup yup...

tu menunjukkan wa sama hina ngan lu...

Tapi otak wa belum boleh lupa bunyi mulut lu...

Pfftt....
Mode : mengurangkan pahala puasa...
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GADOH

diajar untuk mengikut tapi dilarang berfikir



bukan cerita baru
tiada effect-effect hebat
tapi nilai serta kesan yang disampai
tinggi tak tergapai

tonton sendiri tanya diri
di manakah diri

bila menilai hanya sekadar menilai
ye, mereka terus lupa apa erti nilai.

* recommended
** especially for all indie movie's lover out there

- E N D -